No words could fully describe the situation. In short, it was definitely terrifying. The sounds of the men barging in, the children crying; there were shouts, cries, wails, and there was blood. There was blood shed as injustice swept through the place of crime. You want to hide, but there's no place to hide where they can't find you. You want to run, but there's no way to run to where they can't follow you. There was no escape, and you are stuck there, feeling alone and worthless. But over all, it was horrifying, the sight of blood tormented me the whole night. Could it have happened to me, could things have gone worse, will today be the same again? I am greatly troubled. There's not much I can do; there's nothing I want to do. Suddenly, the desire to do something worthwhile had vanished, replaced by an urge to retaliate, to curse them one by one. God help me, is there another way? Should things have evolved to this stage? Is there a better and more effective way, to find...

Peace?

happy... shalalala...

The day started out bad. I was late for like 5 minutes! I just hope Maam Didit wouldn't mind... boohoo! It's the LRT's fault, imagine experiencing "sudden" technical difficulty. *sob* You failed me!!!!! *dramatic huh?!*

Anyway, today is yet another happy day. Why? That's because I saw both Tom and Jerry *wow! how funny they sound when said together* a while ago at the caf. If only I could, I would be screaming like h*ll seeing them there! Then the next exciting was also during lunch at the caf when some blue babble applicants *I think* were showing live performances for the lunch show. Go Jelvin! haha...

Suddenly, I felt so proud to be an Atenean at last. I dunno why but after three days living the life of an Atenean, I am seriously very happy. Since summer 2005 when I spent over a month at ADMU for the AJSS, I told myself: "I'm not going to any other university besides Ateneo!" Well yah, there were complications, but now, I'm finally in! That feeling of happiness and satisfaction probably no one would understand. Thank God I'm an Atenean! Go 'teneo!!!

Second day. It could have been better if it hadn't been for Filipino class! Gosh, I'm definitely going to basic class... boohoo... Anyway, Math left me brain dead as well. Then it was a long, long lunch break with nothing to do. Uber boring.

PE was like wow! We're done?! Anyway, I waited like for 2 hours at the library for my cousin. I suppose I'd be spending more of my college life at the library from now on, which can be a good and a bad thing... hehe... toodles.

Oh happy day...!!!

Well, first day wasn't so bad. I like Ma'am Didit! I always thought she looked like Bibi!!! Really cute! Then the English diagnostic was like... duh! I even fell asleep in the middle of the test. *haha... so Honey-like*

Lunch time was like whoa...crowded. I had a really great time with my blockmates. I pity Matt so much. He was the center of discussion among us girls since he was the only guy in the table. Then we were practicing John's traditional greeting. *in a really deep voice* "Hey blockmate!"

Math was pretty much okay. There was one guy who stormed into our class and later realized that he entered the wrong class! haha... He looked a lot like Osmond. Too bad it wasn't him, or else it would be a great joke! haha... Oops, sorry Os!

After class, Meklot, Kim, Matt and I hang out at the, guess where, LIBRARY! Yah we were like so nerdy but the library was cool, woohoo aircon! But soon enough, block N-ers couldn't stand the silence of the library so we left.

Poor Matt, we just wouldn't stop teasing him, haha... Peace out Matt!

and the song goes...

current song and current mood:

Here's a story of a girl,

Living in a lonely world,

A hidden note, A secret crush,

A little boy who talks too much.

Well, I'm standing in the crowd,

And when you smile I check you out,

But you don't even know my name,

You're too busy playing games,

And I want you too know,

If you lose your way, I won't let you go.

[Chorus]

If I cut my hair, If I change my clothes, Will you notice me?

If I bite my lip, If i say hello, Will you notice me?

Whats it gonna take for you to see

I want you to notice me.

After reading my previous entry for the nth time, I realized how paranoid I am. Well, yah I guess that's what happens to me always when I'm feeling a bit down and taken for granted...

Well school starts tomorrow and I'm pretty excited! Frankly, I just want to see them again huahua... but on the other hand, I want to experience the Ateneo life at last.

Oh and by the way, I'll be giving my two cuties codenames. The first cute guy would be Jerry and the second smart guy would be Tom. Nyahaha... corny!!! Well its not my fault I'm bored... toodles!

thinking of you

Alright, I'm saying this now. Currently, I'm crushing on someone... and I mean a major crush. Gosh, I can't believe I'm falling for him, even though he's a lot shorter than me and I don't know him that well either. But since that instant when I saw him, I was entirely captivated by his charming smile and his eyes, oh his eyes could talk, really. Since then, I can't stop staring at him. Oh my, he must think I'm a lunatic or something but wadahek?! I can't take my eyes off him!!! To those who would probably know whom I'm talking about, please, just keep them to yourselves. It's just a crush anyway and... I think he's got a girlfriend. GASP. Well, keep on dreaming Honey. Only a miracle could make him grow 2 inches taller than you and get him to notice you.

Then there's this other guy. Well, at least I know his course and what year he is in. Thanks to a friend, I also know his name! He's really cool, cute and smart I think, considering the course he's taking. He's also got this smile that could melt my heart completely. Sigh. Problem is, I don't think he'd ever bother noticing me anyway. I'm not the kind of girl who's got enough guts to befriend him. Just a hi or hello would send me scampering away from him and screaming at the top of my voice. Sadly, cute guys don't like unpretty and brainy girls like me. Not that I'm saying I'm unpretty and brainy but, isn't that what everyone thinks of me??

Gosh, why should I fall for cute guys? I'm always telling myself that I don't qualify their "standards" yet I just keep falling and falling even deeper. Now I truly understand how Meklot is feeling. Just as I've always told myself, it's easy to love someone, but don't expect him to love you the way you love him. What's worse, oyu can't even just walk in front of him and tell him your feelings. There's so much love in my heart trying to burst out of their shell but I just can't let them out. I don't want to fall for the wrong person and get my heart broken. I've had enough bad experiences mind you. But golly, I can't shake off their faces and their smiles off my mind. Sob, reality hurts.

the Ateneo way begins...

The most expected ORSEM is finally over. Indeed, no other university does it the way ADMU does. I really enjoyed these three, fun-filled days with my blockmates and my friends. The happiest thing that happened to me was to meet my friends from the China tour I attended back when I was in Grade 6. It felt so amazing to meet people you haven't seen for 5 years, and they seem so different and at the same time so familiar. Funny how we would stare at each other and suddenly realizing that he or she was a friend you held on to on that memorable day of May 13, 2002 when we parted ways.


The next happiest thing, is that I met lots of new friends. I was really nervous about this whole ORSEM thing. I thought I wouldn't know anyone there and I would feel out of place. Turned out I was wrong after all. I really enjoyed the company of my blockmates in CS and my English blockmates. Of course, these wonderful and fun moments wouldn't be "wonderful and fun" without our amazingly wacky and enthusiastic TNTs: Iwel, Aisa, Kat and Trish. Don't forget our equally wacky LOGs: Jay, Issa and Pau. Especially Kat and Pau, without them, I guess block R18 wouldn't be as "wholesome" and enjoying as it already is.


Registration is today and I can now proudly say that I am an Atenean! I'm blue blood through and through... woohoo! One thing worries me though, and that's none other than my course. Can I get through it alive? Can I survive it? I just hope I can...


As of now, my mind is filled with... let's say "other" stuff. *sigh*

Hey everyone it's been a long time. Well, I'm supposed to be updating with a special feature last week, but due to technical difficulties, the special post would have to wait till probably next week. I hope you all can bear with me. I'm sorry I'll try my best to get the computer back in my hands... toodles.

diario de palmas

The last few days of my vacation, I spent them at Palawan. This is a collection of the journal entries I've written throughout our trip to Dos Palmas Arriceffe, Palawan. To follow would be some memorable pictures that I want to share with you all.

Adventure Day 1:

Oh happy day. Waking up at 4:30 am didn't feel so bad after all, especially when you're expecting something. What's more, it's Mommy's birthday! Perfect timing huh? Well we're supposed to board the plane at 7:30 and it's almost time. Meanwhile, I'll just stick with the radio while waiting. ~7:04 am domestic airport boarding area

I've always been afraid of heights, and this time there's no exception. I've slept for the past 2o mins completely forgetting that I'm actually floating amongst the clouds. Well, I woke up just in time for the traditional Cebu Pacific flight game. Too bad I didn't get any prices. Well, I guess it's better luck next flight. ~9:07 am Cebu Pacific plane soaring in the sky

Now I know why I love the sea so much. When you're out there facing the sea in its full grandeur, it feels so amazing, so free, so powerful yet so comforting and so calm. As Captain Jack Sparrow said: "Bring me that horizon!" I wonder to myself when I will find my horizon. I sure hope I find it at sea, where I feel I truly belong. ~11:24 am aboard the Calypso 8 speedboat moving towards Dos Palmas Arriceffe

Well here we are at last. I think Palawan's native instruments are pretty cool. Well fed now and ready to start rolling, but Mom insists that we all take some rest first. The rooms look pretty ancient but inside it's wonderful, with full air-conditioning! Guess this vacation isn't as HOT as it seems! ~2:45 pm Room 4B of Garden Cottage trying to take a nap

Kayaking after a long nap sure is refreshing! Though my arms got sore easily and my hands find the oars new, it was really an adventure to pass through mangroves and under low bridges. Then, we had a sumptious dinner with, guess what, RAW tuna! Marc and I left an unfinished game of sungka as we headed back to our rooms expecting a good night's sleep. ~10:25 pm after dinner on the bed

Adventure Day 2:

After feeding some tropical fishes and feeding our own stomachs with yet another breakfast BUFFET, our troop headed to the divers' shop for a briefing on scuba diving from Kuya Vic. I'm pretty nervous. I just hope I won't back out. Anyway, I'm all geared up with a mask, a snorkle and a lifevest just in case. Now all I need is a pair of aqualungs. Maybe I can find some gillyweed somewhere. Kidding. ~10:11 am at the pier waiting for the speedboat

Mission impossible didn't seem so impossible after all. I succeeded in scuba diving 15 feet below the water surface for 20 whole minutes! But of course, with the help of diving master Kuya Manny. Then, I went snorkeling with Marc for the next two hours. It's simply amazing to see those discovery channel shows on underwater life firsthand. Things I've learned today: Clownfish are oily and waxy. Some corals are soft, and some flaky. Some jellyfish sting and send electric currents to your body, but they don't leave marks at all, just great memories that last a lifetime. ~12:34 pm after a bath before YET ANOTHER lunch buffet

Lato are queer and eerie seaweed-like foods the first time you encounter them, but can turn out as amazing delicacies the second time you have them for lunch. After another game of sungka, it's fish feeding again! Without further ado, we proceeded at once to kayaking and snorkeling with Marc and Matthew. Marc and I teamed up and won at a kayaking race against Papa. Then we traveled deeper into the mangrove forests; it felt just like we were in the Amazon. It was totally amazing. ~4:32 pm snack time over Mom's birthday cake while playing sungka *again?!* *opkorsh!*

Some swimming races at the resort pool and a dip in the jacuzzi, take a shower afterwards then that complete's a perfect day! Of course, let's not forget the seafood dinner buffet! We walked towards the pier where Mom and Papa chatted with the tour officer Johan for a really long time. Tonight's our last night yet I don't think I'm contended. I want more! I wanna go scuba diving again. Sob. Too bad. ~10:28 pm at the pier watching tropical fish leaping in the water under a wonderful star-spangled night sky

Adventure Day 3:

I can't believe my water adventure is now over. Time goes by so fast when you're having fun.If ever I'm given the chance to stay in any island in the Philippines for the rest of my life, I choose Dos Palmas Arriceffe! Good bye to the powers of the sea! Someday, I will be back. ~ 7:45 am aboard the DP Stella Maris speedboat moving from Dos Palmas to Puerto Princesa

try these out!!!

People Envy Your Energy

You've got the drive and determination to keep your life in order, and you are on track to be a huge success.People tend to envy all you've got in life, but they don't understand the work that goes behind it!

What Do People Envy About You?

hmmm... that's true... I hope

Your Animal Personality

Your Power Animal: Deer Animal You Were in a Past Life: Panda You are a fun-seeker - an adventurous, risk-taker. While you are spontaneous, you are not very rational.

The Animal Personality Test

amazingly cool! love the idea...

You Are Mud Pie

You're the perfect combo of flavor and depth Those who like you give into their impulses

What Kind of Pie Are You?

mmm... that's chocolate right?!

You Are an Oatmeal Raisin Cookie

On the surface, you're a little plain - but you have many subtle dimensions to your personality. Sometimes you're down to earth and crunchy. Other times, you're sweet and a little gooey.

What Kind of Cookie Are You?

oatmeal good...

You Are a Green Apple Jelly Bean

Of all the flavors, you're the most complex and the most real. A little sweet, a little sour, and totally tangy. People can't describe you, but they love you!

What Flavor Jelly Bean Are You?

reminds me of Harry Potter's many flavored beans...

You Should Be a Musician

You have a rare combinations of talents: an ear for music, nimble fingers, and the willpower to practice. You could master almost any instrument you choose to play (if you haven't already!)

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

I knew I was meant for this!

You Are Coffee Ice Cream

Energetic and lively, you are always on the go. You're doing a million things at once and doing them well. You tend to motivate others and raise spirits. You are most compatible with chocolate ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

*slurp*told you I'm a highly caffeinated person...

You Are a Powdered Devil's Food Donut

A total sweetheart on the outside, you love to fool people with your innocent image. On the inside you're a little darker, richer, and more complex. You're a hedonist who demands more than one pleasure at a time. Decadent and daring, you test the limits of human indulgence.

What Donut Are You?

wow... I wonder how that would taste...

I'm so cuddly I like you!

Yesterday, I accompanied my little cousin to Gateway to watch "The Wild". It was a wonderful experience because I felt like an adult who is in charge of a little kid. When we entered the movie house, we both went "WOW". There were only around 10-15 movie watchers there including us. What's more, we were seated at the front rows, and we were the only ones in our row.


One thing I like about movies is that you get to see the trailers of other movies. It was really too bad though that we missed the trailers of "X-men3" and "Poseidon" because I had to accompany Pat to the restroom. Then when we came back we saw the trailers of "Cars", "Over the Hedge" and "Monster House", to which Pat pointed to each trailer and said "I wanna watch that!"


The movie was really nice. I think it was actually better than Madagascar. The thing I like about Disney movies is that they always manage to put lessons into each movie and they're really suitable for little children. Pat was really enjoying the jokes and was roaring with Samson the Wild. (I kept hushing him but he let out a loud roar before I could stop him *wack*)


My favorite would be the stuffed koala bears, thus the title. hihi... There's a string attached behind each stuffed koala that says *points to the title* when you pull the string. I've always loved koala bears. i had a collection of small koala bears that my aunts gave me after every visit to Australia. I remember I had one koala bear that I named Calyp. Calyp, derived from the favorite food of koalas, eucalyptus. (I was less than 10 years old then so it just proves how much of an expert I am in giving names. :D)


After the movie, we waited for my aunt to come and fetch us. In the meantime, Pat and I went window shopping. We went to Speedo, Nike Park, Levi's and we took at look at what was on sale at Leonidas. Pat got his eyes locked on the display window of the chocolate haven. I had to pull him away before he starts to drool. While we were shopping I asked him to tell me what he wants as a gift when he ranks first in class. Then he started pointing things at me. First he chose a pair of goggles at Speedo, then a basketball at Nike, then a soccerball. (*moan* I'll go broke!) Finally, we settled on a baseball cap at Nike. It was a perfect fit for him and the color was terrific. So I promised to buy him that cap if he gets first honors at school. Well that made him happy! :D

What a day! But I missed work again! Well, maybe my work for that day was to take care of Pat, then I'm cool with that. hihi... ciao!

how can you become a mutant?

Obviously, I just watched Xmen 1 and Xmen 2 last week. It's really amazing though, if there are mutants in the world. They may seem abnormal and different from ordinary humans, but they can be more powerful and helpful to the society, that is if they're on the right track.

My favorite mutant would be Rogue. I just find it really amazing to be able to absorb other people's powers, dangerous but amazing. The complication is that she shouldn't be in close contact with other people just in case she suck the soul out of people, so that's just too bad.

I think I'm starting to get addicted to Xmen. Who knows? My next story might be an Xmen fanfiction: the story of Rogue... haha... we'll see about that.

Current mood: anticipating Xmen 3

Well, check out my movie list. I've reached 22! Hooray! Unfortunately, due to my movie marathons, I've been neglecting my blog and my story as well. huhu... sorry! Well, besides the movies, I'm also busy playing with penguins. hehe... I'm serious. Check this out http://play.clubpenguin.com/! It's a pretty cool game.

Last Sunday, I went to ADMU to watch my cousin, Hans' frisbee game. It was relly cool, made me want to try it out sometime. Of course, I would need Hans to teach me the basics first. Then, I can decide if I'm going to join the team or not. By the way, I met Tj there. Grrr... he's really not going on May 6! Anyway, I still haven't found my means of transportation to Promenade. Anyone care to give me a ride? hehe...

Wah... really hot weather. I joined my cousins for a chance to chill yesterday at Razon's. Really great halo-halo! It's better than Iceberg for me, and a lot cheaper. Unfortunately, I met my worst friend there and lost a bit of appettite. In the evening, we watched X-men. It amazes me how I manage to watch the 2nd part of movies before it's first part. Take X-men, I watched X-men 2 in the movie house during it's showing, and I just watched X-men 1 now. As for Ice Age 2, I haven't even watched Ice Age 1 yet!

You scored as Philosophy. You should be a Philosophy major! Like the Philosopher, you are contemplative and you enjoy thinking about the purpose for humanity's existence. Philosophy 100% Linguistics 92% Engineering 92% Theater 92% Psychology 83% English 83% Mathematics 75% Journalism 75% Art 75% Sociology 67% Dance 58% Anthropology 50% Biology 42% Chemistry 33% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!!<3) created with QuizFarm.com

Current mood: crying... *sob* <Philosophy?! I am lost...> *sob*

Goal this summer:

watch as many movies as I can!

So from this day forth, I'm going to make a list to help me keep track of all the movies I've seen this summer.Wish me luck!!!

current status: dog tired...

guess what.. I got a name!

My pirate name is:

Captain Sugar Sparrow

Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. Even though many pirates have a reputation for not being the brightest souls on earth, you defy the sterotypes. You've got taste and education. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from fidius.org.

tests... me likey!

Your Ideal Relationship is Polyamory

You want to have your cake... and everyone else's. Which isn't a bad thing, if everyone else gets to eat too! You're too much of a free spirit to be tied down by a traditional relationship. You think relationships should be open and free, with few restrictions.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

wadahek?! I don't think so.... XD

You Are The Moon

You represent the unconscious side of life, what happens in dreams. You are capable of great genius - but also of great madness. Emotions tend to be primal for you, both your fears and your fantasies. Your intuition is always right, listening to it is the difficult part. Your fortune: You are about to embark on a very important journey - and a very difficult one. Some of your deepest dreams will be realized, as well as some of your deepest nightmares. Follow your creativity and visions; stay away from your weaknesses. You are taking a voyage to the center of yourself, and you may be pleasantly surprised by what you discover.

What Tarot Card Are You?

oh kewl!!! :D

Your Hidden Talent

You're super sensitive and easily able to understand situations.You tend to solve complex problems in a flash, without needing a lot of facts.Decision making is easy for you. You have killer intuition.The right path is always clear, and you're a bit of a visionary.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

hmmm... interesting....

Your Scholastic Strength Is Deep Thinking

You aren't afraid to delve head first into a difficult subject, with mastery as your goal. You are talented at adapting, motivating others, managing resources, and analyzing risk. You should major in: Philosophy, Music, Theology, Art, History, Foreign language

What Should You Major In?

WaW... guess I made the wrong choice... nyahaha...

Your Japanese Name Is...

Nori Tokudaiji

What's" your Japanese Name?

*eyes bobbing out* ooooohhh... arigatou!

Evol (read backwards...)

L-O-V-E. Four simple letters, and yet it's limit is infinite and its meaning complex. My friend was telling us about his/her (I respect other people's privacy) own love story. Well, the story made me think about a lot of things. It wasn't the first time I heard of love life problems. In fact, back then, I'm usually the love life consultant of my classmates. But my friend's story just proved on thing: we're still too young to get into relationships.

Now that I'm about to study in college, my parents made it a point that I "concentrate on my studies and not on relationships". Well, they didn't disapprove of me having a crush on someone; they admit it is normal among teens, but they certainly disapprove of dating and courting at an early age. For Papa, love can't be avoided, but it can be controlled. In a way, I approve of their thinking. We're not mature enough for relationships. That is why there are cases of premarital sex and other similar problems. These people aren't mature enough to take over responsibilities only mature people can handle.

Then it came to my mind what another friend of mine told me. (he was lamenting for not having found his "perfect pair") "There's just too much love here waiting to get out and I don't want to spend it on something not human." My initial reaction was "WAW! So I am weird." Cause you know, I usually spend my love on... not entirely realistic things. JJ Lin, Jake Abel, Oliver Wood, Jack Sparrow(?!), Legoslas... these are just some of the celebrities and fictional characters that I fall in love with. So am I stupid? Am I wasting my time? Sure, I got crushes too: batchmates, schoolmates, even friends from other schools, but it just ends there and never developed into the next level called love. Perhaps, it's because I'm a girl and that girls usually don't express their feelings for a guy. Besides, as I've said, I'm not prepared for this new relationship. Then what about other girls who openly express their love for a guy through words and little actions? Are they just, what guys call "hotties" that's why they do that? Are they desperate to fall in love? Or is it because they have enough guts to open up to the guys?

Then there's the common issue of being single or having found a pair. Sometimes, isn't it a lot better if you live on your own? No pressure, no worries, you just have to live on your life the way you wanted. But missing all that love that your friends are enjoying, wouldn't it be so lonely? And yet, where do you find YOUR love? You can't just walk towards a guy you like, tap him on the shoulder and say "Hey I like you. Can we be more than friends?". That's guys' doing; definitely not for girls. So if I can't do that, how can I get involved with the love craze? Wait for someone to come over? When is that? Will I be ready? What if I don't like him that much? Should I accept him because there's no other choice? Or should I turn him down and wait for someone else? Golly, they really should have classes like Love 101 in school...

Am I, what they say, old-fashioned? If someone comes up one day and opens his heart to me, am I ready? Should I learn to express my feelings like other more liberated girls do?

Well blow me down! I'm confused...

wadahek?!

Yesterday was a really busy day for me. Of course, it was what I've been looking forward to last week, a really busy working day. I'm not complaining of course; personally, I enjoy working. On the other hand though, more work would mean less time to write my new chapter. Anyway, I'll try my best to write. Since my story is finally reaching its height, I wouldn't give up on it now.


I skipped work today because I had a really important appointment. Guess what? I got a new haircut! haha... Will you be suprised to see me!! nyahaha... *evil laugh with wink wink* I can't wait to see my friends' faces tomorrow, not to mention my barkada's faces... because I was surprised myself when I looked at the mirror! My relatives were surprised by the sudden... change. Well, wadahek?! haha... It's worth a laugh! *rotfl*


I can't wait for tomorrow! haha...I can finally see my co-nerd friends again! haha... What's more, I'm back to Ateneo. "Welcome to the Ateneo!!!" haha... It's the best thing that ever happened to me!