Watching my cousins whose age range from 3-7, I thought of my own childhood years. Frankly, I don't remember much about them, besides some significant times when my classmate inserted my hand in between the school tables on purpose and I got stuck there for quite some time, when I almost drowned in my aunt's swimming pool, when my classmate asked me to do his homework for him and I did as I was told, and many many more. You could say I was really stupid back then. I couldn't do anything right. I couldn't make up my own mind. I couldn't do things normal kids can do. I've always felt abnormal, strange and different. In a good way, let's say I'm innocent or naive, but most people think otherwise. Thinking back, I don't know why I acted that way before. I remembered my first day in grade school, I was wearing a fading green school skirt, and a white blouse that are already growing yellow over the years that my mom's friend's daughter wore that uniform. Open my bag and I find an old set of school books for the new school year. While everyone flashed their colorful, shiny textbooks, my heart sank as I hid behind my tattered school books with yellow pages. Perhaps that was how I started to act strange. I was never accepted, I was always the laughing stock of our class. I alone keep myself company all the time. I was never confident with myself, not even my high grades could help me with that, because people start calling me a nerd.
I never really remembered how I overcame that state. But I'm proud to say that I'm still alive right now, haven't thought of committing suicide like other emo people in my 17 years of life. I can't say people really accept me now, who knows, they must have learned not to criticize me in front of my face, but I guess I don't really care anymore. Well, I've gotten used to it, and there was nothing I could do anyway, so why try right? Call me a geek, call me a nerd, call me Honey the Strange or whatever you want, I'm still Honey Lynne Tan Sy, and for once, I'm sure I'm living my life the way I wanted. And no one's gonna make me think twice about that, not in a million years.
I never really remembered how I overcame that state. But I'm proud to say that I'm still alive right now, haven't thought of committing suicide like other emo people in my 17 years of life. I can't say people really accept me now, who knows, they must have learned not to criticize me in front of my face, but I guess I don't really care anymore. Well, I've gotten used to it, and there was nothing I could do anyway, so why try right? Call me a geek, call me a nerd, call me Honey the Strange or whatever you want, I'm still Honey Lynne Tan Sy, and for once, I'm sure I'm living my life the way I wanted. And no one's gonna make me think twice about that, not in a million years.
