Sunday, January 28, 2007

Imagine you're hearing the song "I Will Be Here" or better yet, play it while reading this. I hope you guys got my message. Love you all!

To my dearest highschool friends,

Thank y'all for last Saturday night. In Mong's words, di ko talaga makakalimutan ang gabi na ito! Well party's over, and off we go to live our own separate lives. Yes, separate. Perhaps after highschool, we really are separated now. Or maybe I'm the one separated? Sometimes, I ask myself: Tama ba ang desisyon ko? Tama ba na nag-Ateneo ako? If only I studied in La Salle like you all did, I won't be living a life separated from yours...

Actually, I was touched by all of you. You know, it isn't about the gifts you brought for me. The mere fact that ALL of you made it last Saturday, was enough reason for me to be really satisfied with my life. At least diba, may mapagmamalaki rin ako: ano ngayon kung di ako mayaman? Ano ngayon kung peke lang Ferragamo na wallet ko? Ano ngayon kung L300 matchbox lang ang sasakyan namin? I've got 15 friends I couldn't live without: Joshua, Charles, Jeatte, Jes, Aaron, Xtian, Dianne, Fo, Mong, Anly, Erik, Hanna, Diana, Suz, Rachel at dahil sa inyo mas mayaman pa ako kay Richie Rich! XP

But its times like these that make me remember all that we've been through; its times like these that make me think: marami pala akong pagkukulang sa inyo. I remembered how our friendship all started. I met you all during different stages of my student life. Some during Preschool like Hanna, Jes, Diana and Charles, some Grade School like Jeatte, FO and Erik, and most of you from High School like Dianne, Suz, Anly, Rachel, Xtian, Mong, Aaron and Joshua. I'm glad that all of you accepted me with open arms. Minsan, di ko talaga alam kung bakit niyo ako tinanggap, after all that I've done, or should I say, not done. Ano ba meron sa akin? I was never there. Alam ko nagdaramdam kayo sa akin: laging wala si Honey. Laging busy si Honey. Laging di sumasama si Honey. College has made all these complications even more... complicated. La Salle, CSB, UST kayo lahat, as for me? Ateneo, ang layo grabe. Always left behind, always far away. When in highschool I already didn't have the chance to spend time with you, paano pa ngayon?

Hay, mga pagkukulang ko sa inyo. When one of you have problems, I'm always the last to know, always the last person to offer help, and the help I offer is always the most useless one. Maybe that's why I can't blame you guys everytime I feel left out, everytime you are reluctant when sharing with me your kwentos or your chit-chats. Perhaps I need more fitting in, I need more catching up. I should think less of myself, like studying in a prestigious school such as Ateneo, so I can be with you guys and make up for what I owe all of you. And so, I thought: guess it's time for me to change, for all of your sake.


To Joshua, Aaron and Erik,
alam ko lagi ko kayong linoloko, as in walang tigil na pang-aasar. Nakakainis ba ako minsan? Forgive me pare... I know you've all been really helpful, and funny and dependable everytime. Si Joshua, laging determinado at ginagaan ang trabaho. Si Aaron, laging nan diyan para kumanta at gawing makulay ang buhay. Si Erik ang henyo na binago at pinahaba ang last chapter ng thesis para mabawasan ang gagawin ko. XP Starting now, I'll be more helpful and less annoying. I hope you guys can realize that maaasahan niyo rin ako sa anumang bagay kahit kailan. Sana di kayo napipikon sa akin. Sana bigyan niyo ako ng pagkakataon. Pasensya...

To Hanna,
dear, you're the closest friend I ever had. 13 years of friendship certainly has brought us through the thickest and the thinnest of times huh? I know there was a time that we fell apart, but look what God has done to us! Falling apart and getting back together certainly has taught me a lot. I learned to cherish you, and I realized that sometimes, people don't just come and go. They leave marks on you, and it's up to you to decide if you want to hold on to the ones who left the deepest marks. I certainly won't let go of you. I know how, at times, you feel inferior with me. I'm sorry for what I made you feel. From now on, everytime you need me, I'll always answer your call. I want to make you feel special with the things I do for you. Kahit naka-busy ang status ko sa YM, basta kung nagBUZZ! ka, siguradong rereplyan kita. XP

To Charles,
we've known each other since like, preschool? Gosh dami na rin pala natin pinagdaanan. And there was a time that we fought over some stupid disagreement. You know what. Siguro kung sinubukang kong intindihan ang side mo, we'd be better friends than what we are now. Sayang, sayang talaga, and to think it's my fault. Sorry talaga. Since we're both in Ateneo now, perhaps its God's way of reminding us about our friendship. I hope you'd still treat me as a friend who's always around the corner, someone you can count on through Fs and Ds in Math LTs, through problematic blockmates, through evil girlfriends XP. I assure you I'll be there everytime you need me.

To Jeatte,
I owe you so much friend. The many times you've tried to approach me, the many times you've needed my help, and I'm always, always not there. You must have hated me then, huh? I'm sorry Jeatte. I feel so low everytime I remember the times you told me how you feel neglected. I never meant it but I guess that was how I made you feel, and that wasn't supposed to happen. I'm really, really sorry. I tried my best to make it up for you during your debut, that was why I was forcing everyone to join the performance, and I made no hesitation to host your special event. I hope that somehow, your debut can serve as my first act of making it up to you. Basta, if you need me, I promise I'll be there no matter what. Kahit papakinig mo sa akin mga kanta ni Rain, okay lang sa akin! XP

To Suz and Dianne,
we started with, what? Baked thongs and magi savor which eventually led to Thongsters? Then the prelims? The Tic-tac-drop games during class? Memories grabe. If it hadn't been for the two of you, I wouldn't meet the greatest barkada of my life: Tidibur! I owe my social life to the two of you. Thanks for putting up with my kakulitan, my insanity, my weird personalities and my childishness. Gaano man ka-childish si Dianne, times 10 pa ako nun, kaya lagi rin niya ako pinapagalitan! Thanks for bringing out the sense in me. As for Suz, mommy na mommy, ever so patient and so understanding. Kahit pikon na pikon na kayo minsan, tinitiis niyo pa rin ako. I'm so sorry. Wala na talaga ako maipagmamalaki, kasi alam kong talong-talo ako kung ikukumpara sa inyo. And I promise to go to all Tidibur outings, kahit commute na ako pauwi. I shall sacrifice for all of you! XP I'm sorry talaga.

To Xtian and Mong,
the memories we've shared consisted mostly of taskforce in the mornings. I remember how X will put up with my childishness, despite the fact that I was supposed to assist her with the troop. Then I suppose Mong must have found me weird when I talk about random stuff... randomly. I'm so sorry! I must have acted so weird that I would have freaked you out! Magpapakanormal na ako. Mong, I'm sorry I made you cry last Saturday. If you have any similar problems, I hope you can trust me to help you with them. We're gonna kick asses together! XP Xtian, sometimes, I really think you understand all of my predicaments. Thank you so much. I hope that when you need anything, you can approach me as well, same way I seek your help in times of trouble. And I promise, I'm normal now. XP

To Anly and Diana,
I'm sorry for being impatient and bossy at times. I hope you understand that I never meant to hurt anyone, but it's just so difficult when all the emotions are building up inside of my heart. Never will I hurt you two, ever again. Anly, thank you so much for being so sweet. Though I usually wasn't able to express my gratitude, deep inside, thanks talaga, as in! Diana, I'll always be your "Honey, my love". XP When you got problems in life, in studies, in love and a lot, lot more, I'm just a text away, or an IM away. I assure you, you can certainly depend on me right now! Thank you for giving me this chance.

To Jes,
who would think we can become this close in high school? I thank you for all the times you've been putting up with my weirdness and my very busy status. Jiji, sana di ka nagtatampo sa akin. Sana pagbigyan mo na ako. Thank you for being a patient listener. If you need anything, may it be schoolwork, social life, anything, don't hesitate to ask me.

To Rachel,
I can't believe college could actually take the two of us, Hunny and Mais, apart. I'm sorry for the times that you felt neglected. Alam ko kung may kailangan ka, lagi na lang akong busy, kundi walang time para tulungan ka. I'm sorry. And despite all that you remained to be a friend, thank you for understanding me. Kahit busy ang status ko sa YM, sige kulitin mo lang ako. Okay lang. XP I'd rather you annoy me than you ignore me forever.

To FO,
gosh, lagi na lang kung may kailangan, si FO ang pupuntahan. But I never remembered you asking for my help. Dahil ba di ako approachable? O wala ka talagang mga problema? FO, sana kung may mga problema ka, remember this friend you got here. Kaya rin kita tulungan, bigyan mo naman ako ng pagkakataon. I'll do as much as I can. And if you need someone to just listen to you rant about life, I'm here, anytime, anywhere. Thanks for all your help FO, this time, I'm going to repay you for all your kindness.

To Tidibur,
I know I wasn't really a part of the original Tidibur. You guys met since Grade 6 and first year highschool, while I was a mere addition to the group when we reached fourth year. Thank you so much for accepting me. You guys made me realize the value of a barkada, someone you can turn to when you meet problems in life, problems with crushes, or you just want to cry your heart out. At least now, I know who to contact first before I finally decided to commit suicide. XP

To Powder,
I certainly love this family, regardless of the mystery as to who are real dad is. I'm thankful I met you guys during my last year in highschool. I know how I usually miss your conferences because of my busy schedule, well, at least I was able to catch up with Aaron's birthday blowout. XP I love you guys! Mommy Suz, Ahia Aawon, Shoti Joshua, Shobe Dianne, Daddy Erik and Diana the pet!

To my dearest friends,
If there was a time that I made you inferior, or left out, or any negative feelings, know that that's not what I meant to happen. I want you all to know that you will always be someone far better than me, because if it hadn't been for all of you, no one would ever see Honey Lynne Sy the way she is now.

With tears in my eyes now, I offer this entry as a tribute to the best friends any person would want in the whole world! Thank you so much! May our friendship lasts forever.

~Habee