It comforts me that at least there was someone who reacted to my previous post. I wrote that out of exaperation and despair with my life, and now, I'm really surprised that there are still people out there who show concern for me. Well, though it may only be one person, I now know who are my real friends, or should I say friend. Thank you friend, thank you from the bottom of my heart. I owe you everything that I am now, and for who I will become.

I looked up to see a pair of stern eyes staring down at me. He had the physical features of an old man, and yet when he spoke, he didn't seem old at all, but probably just about my age at least. Behind me, I could here the typewriter's click-click sound. "So how has your life been since?" I was startled at the question. Why should I tell the truth to a stranger? I thought. I wanted to say that life was doing me fine, but he seemed to have read my thoughts and before I could say anything, his gaze bore on me again and said: "Honey Lynne Sy, tell me the truth. Because I would easily know it if you are lying." I gulped, cold sweat forming on my forehead. I quickly wiped it off with the back of my hand. I don't want to answer the question, but every second I spent not answering him, his creepy gaze kept boring into me I couldn't control myself anymore. "It's kinda difficult living nowadays." was all I said. That somewhat satisfied the old man as his look on me softened a bit. "Is that so?" his hands folded in front of him. I nodded. "Tell me about this difficult life of yours?" I gulped again. What do you mind? I wanted to ask, but thought better of it. "Well, there's school, grades and..." I couldn't go on. "And?" He pressed on. Silently, I dropped my eyes and murmured silently. "Friends." "What did you say?" Damn, don't make repeat that again! But I gave in nonetheless. "I'm having problems with my friends." A smile formed across his lips. The nerve of this man to smile on my problems. I wanted to stand up and leave, but my legs seemed to have stuck to the floor. The old man winked at someone behind me, probably whoever was typing on that noisy and irritating typewriter. Then his look went back to me. "Tell me Honey Lynne, what has happened with you and your friends?" Suddenly, that urge came back to me. Everytime someone asks me that question, I want to tell them my problems there and then. But the moment I gave myself time to think before speaking, I would think twice and decide to keep things to myself. The man seems to know my problems but thought it better to hear it first hand from me. Should I tell him? I opened my mouth, but no voice came out. Shamefully, I looked at him with tears in my eyes. "I'm sorry, I can't seem to find the courage to say it." The look on his eyes changed instantly. From that stern and later on seemingly mocking look, it had turned soft and deep in understanding. I continued to sob, and for the first time, no one stopped me from crying. It felt great to let the tears fall, as if my problems were being washed away through the process. "But child, you have to tell." I looked at him again. "Why should I, Father? Didn't you tell me before that I have to settle my own problems? If I tell You, it doesn't make any difference at all. The load you gave me would still wear me down, and I will continue to be my own, lonely and friendless self, living in this world with no purpose at all." Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. It gave me the warmth that I needed so much. The old man was standing beside me, a smile on his lips. But it wasn't a mocking smile anymore, instead, a really kind and caring smile. I tried to smile back, but it was pretentious that it disappeared the moment it appeared. "It is true that I can't help you with your problems. It is your burden, your challenge in life. But if you tell me, I assure you, you will find the courage to carry your burden, and you will not find it difficult at all." I was inspired by his words. He handed me a pen and thick stack of papers. "Here. I won't force you to tell me. But write it down, and I promise you, you will feel a lot better." I took it and looked at it for sometime. Should I write it down? Will I find the courage to do so? Just the same, will I find the courage to face my fears? Will I find the courage to carry the burden God has given me?





I guess I will, and I did. By writing this down, I have started on my quest on discovery... of self.

The project is finally over. Thank God I was able to pass it on time, even by the last minute. Can you believe my luck? The deadline of submission was Wednesday, 11:55 Pm. Guess what time I submitted my project? 11:54 Pm! Whew that was SOOO... close.


Finally hell week is over. I really miss doing the stuff I like to do before. Reading fanfic, uploading photos, searching for pictures, downloading music, writing for fanfic ( my beloved story is abandoned! )... but I know I can't do all of that just yet. There's still the upcoming finals... I'm so worried about that. I guess what I have to look forward the most for now is the sembreak. I do hope I can really get to enjoy my vacation then. Sigh.

Huzza huzza!

The internet is back!

The sparrow is back!

The sparrow left!

The sparrow left to work on her auction house!

The auction house made sparrow feel very stupid!

The auction house killed sparrow!

The sparrow died!

*God bless her soul...*

Amazingly, I survived a week without internet... barely though. Sorry for my very, not-so-updated posts. I promise I'll be back to my frequenlty-updating self once I get my hands on ANY available internet connection at home. On the contrary though, I figured I was really spending too much time on internet before. Since I can't read fanfics or watch Bleach for the past week without internet, I spent more time studying. Yuck... kinda nerdy but helpful to me just the same. I should really cut down my internet time when we get our connection back... wouldn't wanna sacrifice my studies... ya dig?! Toodles!

I know it's not like me not to update this blog for days, I'm having a hard time myself. Imagine, no internet at home for 5 days already!!! I can't live anymore if this goes on!!!

It all started last Saturday, I went shoe-shopping with my mom. Well of course, we shopped but we didn't buy anything. My rubber shoes are worn out, and I need shoes badly for futsal. Still, we DIDN'T BUY ANYTHING. Oh well, I'll be getting them soon, I guess. When I got home, I went directly to doing my homework, internet and all laid aside.

On Sunday, our usual family rituals of Sunday lunch together, then we were home bound. Then did I realize that WE DON'T HAVE INTERNET!!! I had to endure doing my English homework without chatting in YM. The day droned on lifelessly, as I satisfy my net-needs with the High School Musical soundtrack my aunt bought for my cousins.

Monday alas and I could check my mail at the lab. I have so many mails to read! I really need the internet badly so I can get extra information for our Java project. Still, no internet when I got home...

I couldn't play futsal yesterday because of pains in my stomach. And I wanted to play so badly... sob. I thought I could finally do my usual stuff once I get home, but still, no internet.

I guess I know what I'll be expecting today when I get home, no internet, no internet, no internet. Good grief! I can't live like this! The internet is practically my life!!! Help, I'm dying!!! Argh!

Lately, my life's been filled with nothing else but Java. I'm really getting tired of it. Glad that I could sleep earlier than usual lately. But still, I feel like I need lots of rest. I want to watch TV but I don't have the time. My left foot is bruised and sore after two futsal games this week, yet I'm feeling good... yah! I'm troubled, sometimes, I don't know what my goal in life really is. At times, I think why am I doing this? Why am I here? Why am I still alive? What am I supposed to do? Times like these are the worst times in my life.

Back to love mode? Probably not so soon. But yes, I still love him...

It's official. I'm heartbroken... again. To those who have been asking me who my crush is, better not know it anymore. Because now, it's senseless knowing it, since it's over, all over.


Are all the good guys taken? Is my prince one who I don't love at all?


Well, blow me down, I have not an inkling on what I am to do.

Nothing much to say, since I'm busy studying for our Math LT tomorrow, but just to let you guys know, I got a new crush....!!! Haha... and he's not Mikee! Wahaha.... he's so cute, I love him so much! That's all. Wish me luck!

Last Friday, Aaron and Joshua came to ADMU to visit me. I'm so glad to see them again, knowing that they came to visit me and disregarding, at the same time, the heck of a hands-on called Sudoku Checker. Anyway, seeing the two of them again reminds me of my wonderful high school life. Considering that I'm the only Powder and Tidibur in the Ateneo, I feel secluded, lonely, igonred, what else? Sometimes, I tell myself that I really should have studied in DLSU instead, but wouldn't I be putting my future into waste? Not that DLSU isn't a good enough university, but ADMU has always been my dream university. And since I was able to avail a scholarship here, why forsake the chance? Well, the Sudoku Checker kept me busy enough. I slept at 4:30 in the morning just to finish it. My father was surprised that I woke up earlier than him, not knowing that I was just about to sleep then. Then on Saturday, I attended Esme's debut. We've been friends since grade school and I'm really happy that we're still friends until now. I also got to meet Jiji, Jeatte, Jade and Xtian. Seeing Kaira was no big surprise at all, haha. On Sunday, my and my cousin cuties ate at Pizza Hut Bistro, our favorite restaurant next to Teriyaki Boy. Well, of course, we wouldn't miss a chance to have yet another pictorial. I think I'm starting to turn them into models! haha... I love my cousins.