Twas a fun day today. We didn't do much during English class, Lulu just finalized our deadly deadlines to us. Deadly indeed. XP As for Lit, Acuna set us free 30 minutes before the bell after he briefed us with some final reminders, yet another list of deadly deadlines. Deadlier indeed. XP

After that it was free period for me. I didn't have Math class, so I went to the open lab while waiting for our defense in Battleship. I got to play the McDonalds Video Game again, but I fell asleep so I went bankrupt at year 2015. Boo... XP Oh yah, and I've already enlisted myself for summer classes. Online registration is really cool. I can't wait for summer class! XP

The defense was okay. Sir Jeff is a better person when he's outside the classroom. XP Hope he gives us easy questions for the finals. I need a B+ for CS.

Then it's off to Celaroom to study for my Math LT tomorrow. Osi was there, haha, I missed seeing him and arguing with him. XP Integrals are killing me. Argh. I left at around 4:20 to attend a talk for Lit.

Well what do you know? Our class entered the wrong lecture room. We were already wondering why the introduction of the speaker was referring to the graduates. Well, turns out we have entered a party for the graduates. No wonder there was food. XP On our way out we saw Acuna and he said the talk was already held last Friday. Waw, so much for bonus papers... XP

So it's Celaroom again, and good thing I did go back, coz Retcher taught me my Maths. haha... Retch is a Math nerd, I just knew today. XP

It was raining really hard. I was supposed to commute home with Charles. Turns out Uncle Rudy came to fetch him, so I hitched a ride. Charles was behind the wheel, haha... first time I saw him drive. XP He was supposed to drop me at Katipunan station, but he insisted on driving me home, so I gave up.

A police officer stopped him at Camuning (I think that's the road name) for beating the red light. Haha... Charles was shocked, and speechless, and he let Uncle Rudy do all the talking. In the end, the officer returned Charles' license, with money in his pockets of course, the corrupt thing! Oh well, it was for our good's sake too.

Then we ate at Persian's place, Uncle Rudy's treat. XP It's my first time to eat beef kebab. Haha, I felt so stupid because I didn't know what to do with the tomatoes and onions and the beef and the pita. XP but wow it tastes really really good! Charles tricked me into eating some new kind of "itlog" which was actually cow brains. Pft. Well, it tastes good too. XP I ate cow liver too, hehe, tastes quite similar to the pig liver I used to eat at home. XD It was really, really fun! Thanks for the ride and the unique dining experience Charles! XP

At home, we ate pig liver for dinner. haha.. coincidence. XD And when I should have been studying for Math, and reading my Math book like what Retch told me, guess what I'm doing? Blogging. haha... alright alright, off to study. XP





As if..... XP

Don't be a human being, be a human doing.

Funny how I saw that on the window of a Mega Taxi. I mean, when can you see such profound lines on a taxi? Well, made me think of my goals in life again. Am I doing something for myself? for my family? for my country? Eeck, I don't wanna be a national hero or anything, I don't want my face to be placed on a bill in the future, but I still want to be remembered as someone useful to the society. Maybe something like this: Honey Sy, the creator of the Disney Pixar animated movie: Finding Honey. XP

So... am I doing something? Beats me.

So battleship is over, now on to the interview.

Lego Star Wars is really, really cool. But I got stuck in the second level. XP

No more swimming classes for me, boo... oh yah, and we're the over-all champion! Yeh beybeh! XP

I want to watch 300................. huhu... :(

Life is killing me...

Yes panicking to death right now. No interview. No English paper. No Battleship. Especially that stupid interview. When have you ever heard of a research paper that REQUIRES an interview?! Dang.

I'm definitely a frustrated programmer...

Last Wednesday, during our practice for the programming contest, it took the computer 20 minutes before it functioned properly. So naturally, I wasted 20 mins of my precious time to program.

Then on Friday, we had another practice. I was able to start programming when there was 25 minutes left. Not because I was late to arrive, but because it took a really long time for the computer to start running, and waiting for Eclipse and PC^2 to load took an even longer time. And the computer was running at turtle's pace.

On Saturday, the contest date itself, oh joy! My computer broke down again. At first, I thought it was merely moving at turtle's pace again. Then I realized that it wasn't running at all. I turned the computer off and on, it's still the same thing. Like what Lihan said:Bakit lagi na lang computer mo ang nasisira? Hay, di ko nga rin alam eh. Bad luck I guess. Nagmukhang tanga pa ako dahil wala ako nasagutan na problem. If only then knew it was the computer's fault... dang.

Anyway, Lihan's taking off for Japan tomorrow. Aww.. really gonna miss my oniichan, ahia and fourth groupmate in CS... XP See you next year Ahia! Hope you have fun in Japan... :D

So I'm finally done with my Fil paper, then that's one down one more to go. Another sleepless night tomorrow for my first draft for the En paper.

And what am I doing now still awake at 2:54 am? I'm waiting for Nukoni-san to edit my paper and what better way to wait than to update in my blog?!

It's definitely hell week this week. Oh make that hell weeks, cause next week is gonna be tough hell. I want to watch movies, but I know I won't have the time. So I'll just have to rely on pirated DVDs, or downloads from torrent.

Oh got a message from Nukoni-san. Must be another barok-ness of mine. XP Got to go!

To some who saw my status last night, I was really freaking out. I couldn't find my notecards for my English paper. Mind you, that's 30 notecards, and we had an assignment due today that needed them.

So what did freaking, panicking me do? Besides freaking out and panicking, I started to make new notercards. It was already 2 in the morning and I only made 11 notecards. I was hopeless. I even thought that they could have gotten mixed up with my grandma's stuff. But when we checked this morning, it wasn't there too.

I thought my only hope lies in the Celadon room, because that was the last place I was hanging out when I still had my notecards. But when I remembered that day when I saw Ted "spring cleaning" the room, I was disheartened. It's lost! All hope is lost!!!

I went to school sulking really really hard. It's 5 minutes to the bell but I still dropped by the Celadon room. Lots of people were already there. I looked around, feeling really hopeless. AL asked what I was looking for and I told her. There was nothing on the table. I bent down and rummaged through the stuff in a box near the door, and friggin hell did I saw them!!! Holy mackerel! I couldn't stop myself from doing the victory dance! Turns out I really forgot to bring them home, and it didn't got dumped into the trash too. I'm so happy, English didn't feel so boring after all. XP

And so I sing... "Happy sha lalala, it's so nice to be happy sha lalala..."XP

I pigged out yesterday. It was my cousin's birthday and we had the traditional birthday noodles. I got home really tired from swimming, without eating any lunch at 5 in the afternoon. So, I asked my mom to prepare some noodles for me while I fixed my stuff. Lo and behold, mom gave me a bowl full of noodles, and a plate of rice with my favorite dish, black chicken. Don't be surprised. People of my culture treat it as a delicacy. XP I was so stuffed. Haven't eaten that much in weeks. I didn't eat dinner last night. Argh. But I was able to find some room in my stomach for a slice of Cinnamon Caramel ice cream cake for my little cuz. XP Delisyoso! Though my birthday cake was the best: a combination of yummy peanut butter and Reese chocolate!! What's the name? Witherspoon's Temptation. Rings a bell? XP

"...the whatness of a human being predetermines his thatness..."

When I said this was bloggable, I mean it. The moment Terry finished explaining this "complex" philosophy to me, I quickly jotted it down the nearest paper accessible: the back of my Hamlet novel. XP This is the reason why I've always believed in destiny.

My philosophy in life? What will happen, will happen, and you can't do anything about it. Hmmm... I wonder if I'm ever meant to be a straight A student during college? Playing cards!!! Let's tell the future through cards. XP

Before indulging myself with Battleship... (hmm... "indulging" just isn't the right word XP)

... time to blog.

I got a B+ for my Filipino paper! Yes! That's probably the highest score I got from Filipino, and perhaps the highest score I'm ever going to get from Filipino, although I sure hope not. Time to do the Yahoo! yodel, YAHOOOO!!!

I've improved, Coach Asajar said. Well, I hope it's true.*fingers crossed* Tumble turn is killing me, so is diving. But freestyle and breast stroke rocks!!! XP

I really, really hope we don't have CS tomorrow, gives me more time to sleep *cough cough* I mean do my Battleship. XP I hope Mum's gonna allow me to bring my laptop tomorrow. Sigh. It's times like these that I really wish I have my own car, and I can drive.

Back to Battleship... XP

The weekend is almost over, and I think I haven't accomplished anything yet. Well, besides the Celadon manager applications, and I also made an account in LJ. Click here to see it. To my friends who have LJ accounts, please add me, because I made my LJ private. XP

That's all for now. Hopefully, I'll be able to watch Bleach or Heroes tonight. For now, I have to satisfy myself with Barney... in the company of my little cousins. XP

Moments ago, I was teasing Retcher with another girl in our org, and this was what came out of our conversation:

Retcher Ching: i know you like me
Retcher Ching: so stop fishing
Honey: che!
Honey: im not fishing
Honey: im teasing
Retcher Ching: yes you are
Honey: girls dont fish
Honey: they hint
Honey: you said that
Retcher Ching: i know you like me
Retcher Ching: (insert the stupid looking, whistling smiley here)
Honey: kapal mo!
Honey: pramis i cant stop laughing because you just said that
Retcher Ching: okai lang
Retcher Ching: alam ko naman chick boy ako eh
Retcher Ching: (insert winking smiley here)
Honey: hoy may god
Honey: priceless
Honey: grabe priceless
Honey: bloggable to! (can't stop laughing!) XP

I can't believe Retcher would say that... haha.. he is so wrong! XP (must... stop laughing... haha!!)

Honey Digest No. 2

Guy from the microform section in the Rizal Lib: Anong pangalan niyo miss? (holding a pen ready to write my receipt)

Honey: Honey poh.

(Guy looks up at me) Guy: Yun spelling ba, Honey talaga? Yun honey na...

Honey: Opo. Yung honey na matamis. (laughs)

Guy: (muttering to himself) Naku, ano naman tinatawag sa iyo ng mga lalaki?

And then I got addicted to Heroes...

Basically, I went to school today just to attend two classes: English and Lit. I slept at 2 in the morning and woke up at 7 am to study for our really, really long test in Lit. I was late for class this morning, but the Lit LT went pretty much okay. XP So the efforts are worth it.

Then, I hang out at the Celadon room; yes, I've been hanging out there a lot lately. Retch started bugging me with his "principles in life" which was disgusting but interesting at the same time. XP When he finally spared me (he still had class), I watched Heroes with Lihan through Hector's laptop. Now, I'm totally addicted to it! Battleship put aside, Heroes is the priority! (this is your fault Lihan! XP) Oh, and I completely forgot about our block eat out at Shakey's! (Sorry Nmates!)

Later in the evening, I met up with my old high school friends for Presy's birthday party. It was really fun getting together again. Aydol ko na si Paul! How did he get so thin? Huhu... I want to be thin too...

"Someone's Watching Over Me"

Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

Seen that ray of light
And it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I wont be afraid
To follow everywhere it's taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
To this moment to my dreams

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even when it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That someone's watching over
Someone's watching over
Someone's watching over me

Someone's watching over me

Well... that's it.

I've finally solved the mystery of my dream! I spent some time with him today, which made me know him better, and him knowing me better as well. Then I realized, I don't really like him after all. Let's say, I thought I liked him because of that dream that seems to be tying the knots between the two of us. But later today, I realized that the dream was actually hinting me to become more productive in my life. In what way? I can't say it here, dahil mabubuking ako agad. XP Let's just say, the dream was just guiding me to the right path of my life, although in a very peculiar way.

Anyhoo, I'm okay now. We're really good friends, and I got a new prospect, but not the head over heels type of prospect so, I'm still love-less. XP

"I would rather have you in my dreams than love you in the real world where you can't love me back. At least there is one moment in my life where I can keep you and where you are mine."

Someone sent me this 4 years ago, and until now, I could never forget it. This liner is quite similar with my situation now.

But I'm not thinking of it. No I'm not. I would never allow myself to think this way about him...

Well, at least I'm trying not to... :(

So much for dreams...

I saw him a while ago, and talked to him. I can't believe I'm saying this but, I think I actually "liked" him. He was so cute in his picture! XP *SCREAM!* Perhaps Sher was right, maybe my dream was hinting me that he is the right guy for me, although frankly, he's the last person I'd expect to be my boyfriend.

1. He's shorter than me.
2. He's sexier than me. (by sexy, I mean sexy = thin; not sexy = hot)
3. He's definitely UN-likable, well, there are a lot of other cuties cuter than him.
4. Ack! He's shorter than me! Why do I have to be so tall?! *sob*

After reading the fourth statement I realized that I'm actually falling for him. I've always wanted to be tall and I'll never regret it, unless of course someone I REALLY REALLY like is shorter than me.

Ooohh... so does that mean I really like him? Ack! I dunno!!!

Honey Digest No. 1:

English blockmate John: Ano yun sa likod? Aparador? (referring to Honey's vain pics in her camera phone)

Honey: Nooo... that's the CR. I always take my pictures at the CR. (beams proudly)

(looks of disbelief from blockmates Miko, Je and John)

Honey: (innocent face) What?! The lighting's good!

are dreams real?

That's one heck of wacky dream if you ask me.

Nights ago, I had the wackiest dream of my life. It was really late and I was on my way home. Well, turns out that my "home" was actually a dorm along Katipunan, and surprisingly, someone was with me. I'd rather stop talking about it now, cause there were a lot of mushy things after that. To cut the long story short, he was a guy, I know him, and I never expected him to be in that sort of relationship with me.

I have no idea how it came to be that he had such an "intimate" relationship with me in my dream. I mean, hello, I just knew him last Monday and what's more, he really isn't my type of guy. Not that I don't like him, I would want to know him better as friends, but it never occurred to me to like him like I do with Johnny Depp or any other crush.

Well, after I had that nasty dream, the hairs at the back of my neck would stand up everytime I see him at school. Gawd, so much for being friends. Now I'm getting the shivers and the goose pimples everytime I meet him, or when he talks to me.(You see, I've already lost my initiative to talk to him. *boo*) The mere image of him reminds me of that dream, or should I say nightmare? Although it's not much of a nightmare because I wasn't scared, just... kilig or more of, frightened.

Frightened? Yes. I've always imagined myself marrying a well-off guy who I really love, like Ehlo Huang or Wilber Pan. Well yah, they are mere illusions, and I always believed that I WILL find Mr. Right someday. That dream sort of woke me up from my senses, telling me that, "Woah! He's not the Mr. Right I was expecting. But what if he really is?"

Then last weekend, something came up between the two of us that was totally unexpected. That teasing could have been a simple joke for my friends and him, but for me, who actually dreamed of a "special" relationship between the two of us, I thought of a lot more than just fun out of that joke, but actually a teensy bit of seriousness.

Wait a minute, well it IS just a dream. So why should I take it seriously? But hey, I AM taking it seriously. *boo*

Whew! It's been so long since I've last posted. Well, I still haven't fixed the Haloscan, and so I was really hoping that everyone who's visiting my blog would care to scroll further down and tag at my Cbox. Thanks! XP

I have to go back studying. I've decided to work extra hard this sem. I just hope the remaining two months is enough for me to change things.

Imagine you're hearing the song "I Will Be Here" or better yet, play it while reading this. I hope you guys got my message. Love you all!

To my dearest highschool friends,

Thank y'all for last Saturday night. In Mong's words, di ko talaga makakalimutan ang gabi na ito! Well party's over, and off we go to live our own separate lives. Yes, separate. Perhaps after highschool, we really are separated now. Or maybe I'm the one separated? Sometimes, I ask myself: Tama ba ang desisyon ko? Tama ba na nag-Ateneo ako? If only I studied in La Salle like you all did, I won't be living a life separated from yours...

Actually, I was touched by all of you. You know, it isn't about the gifts you brought for me. The mere fact that ALL of you made it last Saturday, was enough reason for me to be really satisfied with my life. At least diba, may mapagmamalaki rin ako: ano ngayon kung di ako mayaman? Ano ngayon kung peke lang Ferragamo na wallet ko? Ano ngayon kung L300 matchbox lang ang sasakyan namin? I've got 15 friends I couldn't live without: Joshua, Charles, Jeatte, Jes, Aaron, Xtian, Dianne, Fo, Mong, Anly, Erik, Hanna, Diana, Suz, Rachel at dahil sa inyo mas mayaman pa ako kay Richie Rich! XP

But its times like these that make me remember all that we've been through; its times like these that make me think: marami pala akong pagkukulang sa inyo. I remembered how our friendship all started. I met you all during different stages of my student life. Some during Preschool like Hanna, Jes, Diana and Charles, some Grade School like Jeatte, FO and Erik, and most of you from High School like Dianne, Suz, Anly, Rachel, Xtian, Mong, Aaron and Joshua. I'm glad that all of you accepted me with open arms. Minsan, di ko talaga alam kung bakit niyo ako tinanggap, after all that I've done, or should I say, not done. Ano ba meron sa akin? I was never there. Alam ko nagdaramdam kayo sa akin: laging wala si Honey. Laging busy si Honey. Laging di sumasama si Honey. College has made all these complications even more... complicated. La Salle, CSB, UST kayo lahat, as for me? Ateneo, ang layo grabe. Always left behind, always far away. When in highschool I already didn't have the chance to spend time with you, paano pa ngayon?

Hay, mga pagkukulang ko sa inyo. When one of you have problems, I'm always the last to know, always the last person to offer help, and the help I offer is always the most useless one. Maybe that's why I can't blame you guys everytime I feel left out, everytime you are reluctant when sharing with me your kwentos or your chit-chats. Perhaps I need more fitting in, I need more catching up. I should think less of myself, like studying in a prestigious school such as Ateneo, so I can be with you guys and make up for what I owe all of you. And so, I thought: guess it's time for me to change, for all of your sake.


To Joshua, Aaron and Erik,
alam ko lagi ko kayong linoloko, as in walang tigil na pang-aasar. Nakakainis ba ako minsan? Forgive me pare... I know you've all been really helpful, and funny and dependable everytime. Si Joshua, laging determinado at ginagaan ang trabaho. Si Aaron, laging nan diyan para kumanta at gawing makulay ang buhay. Si Erik ang henyo na binago at pinahaba ang last chapter ng thesis para mabawasan ang gagawin ko. XP Starting now, I'll be more helpful and less annoying. I hope you guys can realize that maaasahan niyo rin ako sa anumang bagay kahit kailan. Sana di kayo napipikon sa akin. Sana bigyan niyo ako ng pagkakataon. Pasensya...

To Hanna,
dear, you're the closest friend I ever had. 13 years of friendship certainly has brought us through the thickest and the thinnest of times huh? I know there was a time that we fell apart, but look what God has done to us! Falling apart and getting back together certainly has taught me a lot. I learned to cherish you, and I realized that sometimes, people don't just come and go. They leave marks on you, and it's up to you to decide if you want to hold on to the ones who left the deepest marks. I certainly won't let go of you. I know how, at times, you feel inferior with me. I'm sorry for what I made you feel. From now on, everytime you need me, I'll always answer your call. I want to make you feel special with the things I do for you. Kahit naka-busy ang status ko sa YM, basta kung nagBUZZ! ka, siguradong rereplyan kita. XP

To Charles,
we've known each other since like, preschool? Gosh dami na rin pala natin pinagdaanan. And there was a time that we fought over some stupid disagreement. You know what. Siguro kung sinubukang kong intindihan ang side mo, we'd be better friends than what we are now. Sayang, sayang talaga, and to think it's my fault. Sorry talaga. Since we're both in Ateneo now, perhaps its God's way of reminding us about our friendship. I hope you'd still treat me as a friend who's always around the corner, someone you can count on through Fs and Ds in Math LTs, through problematic blockmates, through evil girlfriends XP. I assure you I'll be there everytime you need me.

To Jeatte,
I owe you so much friend. The many times you've tried to approach me, the many times you've needed my help, and I'm always, always not there. You must have hated me then, huh? I'm sorry Jeatte. I feel so low everytime I remember the times you told me how you feel neglected. I never meant it but I guess that was how I made you feel, and that wasn't supposed to happen. I'm really, really sorry. I tried my best to make it up for you during your debut, that was why I was forcing everyone to join the performance, and I made no hesitation to host your special event. I hope that somehow, your debut can serve as my first act of making it up to you. Basta, if you need me, I promise I'll be there no matter what. Kahit papakinig mo sa akin mga kanta ni Rain, okay lang sa akin! XP

To Suz and Dianne,
we started with, what? Baked thongs and magi savor which eventually led to Thongsters? Then the prelims? The Tic-tac-drop games during class? Memories grabe. If it hadn't been for the two of you, I wouldn't meet the greatest barkada of my life: Tidibur! I owe my social life to the two of you. Thanks for putting up with my kakulitan, my insanity, my weird personalities and my childishness. Gaano man ka-childish si Dianne, times 10 pa ako nun, kaya lagi rin niya ako pinapagalitan! Thanks for bringing out the sense in me. As for Suz, mommy na mommy, ever so patient and so understanding. Kahit pikon na pikon na kayo minsan, tinitiis niyo pa rin ako. I'm so sorry. Wala na talaga ako maipagmamalaki, kasi alam kong talong-talo ako kung ikukumpara sa inyo. And I promise to go to all Tidibur outings, kahit commute na ako pauwi. I shall sacrifice for all of you! XP I'm sorry talaga.

To Xtian and Mong,
the memories we've shared consisted mostly of taskforce in the mornings. I remember how X will put up with my childishness, despite the fact that I was supposed to assist her with the troop. Then I suppose Mong must have found me weird when I talk about random stuff... randomly. I'm so sorry! I must have acted so weird that I would have freaked you out! Magpapakanormal na ako. Mong, I'm sorry I made you cry last Saturday. If you have any similar problems, I hope you can trust me to help you with them. We're gonna kick asses together! XP Xtian, sometimes, I really think you understand all of my predicaments. Thank you so much. I hope that when you need anything, you can approach me as well, same way I seek your help in times of trouble. And I promise, I'm normal now. XP

To Anly and Diana,
I'm sorry for being impatient and bossy at times. I hope you understand that I never meant to hurt anyone, but it's just so difficult when all the emotions are building up inside of my heart. Never will I hurt you two, ever again. Anly, thank you so much for being so sweet. Though I usually wasn't able to express my gratitude, deep inside, thanks talaga, as in! Diana, I'll always be your "Honey, my love". XP When you got problems in life, in studies, in love and a lot, lot more, I'm just a text away, or an IM away. I assure you, you can certainly depend on me right now! Thank you for giving me this chance.

To Jes,
who would think we can become this close in high school? I thank you for all the times you've been putting up with my weirdness and my very busy status. Jiji, sana di ka nagtatampo sa akin. Sana pagbigyan mo na ako. Thank you for being a patient listener. If you need anything, may it be schoolwork, social life, anything, don't hesitate to ask me.

To Rachel,
I can't believe college could actually take the two of us, Hunny and Mais, apart. I'm sorry for the times that you felt neglected. Alam ko kung may kailangan ka, lagi na lang akong busy, kundi walang time para tulungan ka. I'm sorry. And despite all that you remained to be a friend, thank you for understanding me. Kahit busy ang status ko sa YM, sige kulitin mo lang ako. Okay lang. XP I'd rather you annoy me than you ignore me forever.

To FO,
gosh, lagi na lang kung may kailangan, si FO ang pupuntahan. But I never remembered you asking for my help. Dahil ba di ako approachable? O wala ka talagang mga problema? FO, sana kung may mga problema ka, remember this friend you got here. Kaya rin kita tulungan, bigyan mo naman ako ng pagkakataon. I'll do as much as I can. And if you need someone to just listen to you rant about life, I'm here, anytime, anywhere. Thanks for all your help FO, this time, I'm going to repay you for all your kindness.

To Tidibur,
I know I wasn't really a part of the original Tidibur. You guys met since Grade 6 and first year highschool, while I was a mere addition to the group when we reached fourth year. Thank you so much for accepting me. You guys made me realize the value of a barkada, someone you can turn to when you meet problems in life, problems with crushes, or you just want to cry your heart out. At least now, I know who to contact first before I finally decided to commit suicide. XP

To Powder,
I certainly love this family, regardless of the mystery as to who are real dad is. I'm thankful I met you guys during my last year in highschool. I know how I usually miss your conferences because of my busy schedule, well, at least I was able to catch up with Aaron's birthday blowout. XP I love you guys! Mommy Suz, Ahia Aawon, Shoti Joshua, Shobe Dianne, Daddy Erik and Diana the pet!

To my dearest friends,
If there was a time that I made you inferior, or left out, or any negative feelings, know that that's not what I meant to happen. I want you all to know that you will always be someone far better than me, because if it hadn't been for all of you, no one would ever see Honey Lynne Sy the way she is now.

With tears in my eyes now, I offer this entry as a tribute to the best friends any person would want in the whole world! Thank you so much! May our friendship lasts forever.

~Habee

I arrived school at 7:30 thinking I was late for my first class when suddenly, I was shocked to see our Fil classroom deserted. Then did I remember that we were supposed to have a free cut today... *dang*


So here I am at the open lab, finally using my hours to good use. I'm studying for my CS midterms tomorrow, at the same time watching Bleach videos over YouTube and reading Bleach manga with Ambs. XP My next class is at 10:30 so another hour to go... and it's Math class *crap*. I can't wait to swim. But *boo* for swimming exam.

Spelling lessons for today:

Aawon (2007/1/23 08:56:03): H
Aawon (2007/1/23 08:56:03): A
Aawon (2007/1/23 08:56:03): B
Aawon (2007/1/23 08:56:06): E
Aawon (2007/1/23 08:56:06): E
Honey (2007/1/23 08:58:43): A
Honey (2007/1/23 08:58:46): B
Honey (2007/1/23 08:58:47): U

Oh diba? Educational!!! XP

I know I'm not supposed to be blogging now, but thought I should update you guys of my achievements for the past few days. (haha... naks! Achievements. XP)

1. I finished our CS hands on last Saturday. Just on time. I'm so happy to see that egg and box bounce against each other.
2. I finished my Fil paper, finally, yesterday. And I've finished editing it today. I just hope it's really gonna get me a good grade, like what Mika said.

Yah. That's all there is. Hehe.. and I still call them achievementS. XP Anyway, I hope I do good in our Math LT 3 tomorrow!

Forgive the emo-ness. But it really is hell week next week.

Also, my blog is still under construction. There won't be Haloscan comments in the meantime so tag! XP

Thanks. Math is hell.

Its hell week next week!
Its hell next week!
Next week is hell week!
Next week is hell!
Hell week, next week.
Hell! next week.

I feel...

old.

doh.

Yes. Today is my 18th birthday. The day started out great. I woke up with 7 birthday messages waiting for me. XP Even the people I least expected greeted me.

I was on my way to the trike station when I received my first birthday gift: McDo ampao. Ten steps away, I met another McDo personnel who gave me my second birthday gift: McDo ampao. McDonardo has finally seen my efforts and has decided to award me for my loyalty!

We were given a CS project to work on. I thought that day was never going to happen but well it did. I'm supposed to be doing that now instead of blogging, but heck! XP Kim gave me my third birthday gift: a stuffed bear. Matt couldn't stop singing the birthday song. Mek and Matt even made a joke out of it. (Matt: you could consider a career as megaphone in the future. XP)

My english block was just as thoughtful, especially with my family there. XP The library tour was boring, so was Lit class.

Lunch time I got my fourth gift: Sher bought me choco mousse! Even Mek ate. XP There was nothing left in the box before the hour was over.

Time droned on and I was home before you can say: "Happy birthday Honeeyyyyy!" (that was a joke) It was dark when I got home. After dinner, was my fifth and final gift: Pa, Ma, my uncle, my aunt and my five cute cousins singing the birthday song for me over an ice cream cake my uncle and aunt bought for me. That was the best moment of my life.

No candles. No icing. Just me, my family and ice cream. What more can I wish for? XP

I've never seen faces this happy and smiles this cheerful for a long, long time. Yes. Those are the faces you're going to get once you've aced the mock ACM programming competition. I'm not bragging if that's what you think. My teammates and I were surprised ourselves when we saw Team 2 ranking the top of the list. I guess we just did our very best and the most of what we were capable of.

Team Dos: Mika, Kim and Honey. Together in mock ACMs and Pusoy Dos! XP

Watching my cousins whose age range from 3-7, I thought of my own childhood years. Frankly, I don't remember much about them, besides some significant times when my classmate inserted my hand in between the school tables on purpose and I got stuck there for quite some time, when I almost drowned in my aunt's swimming pool, when my classmate asked me to do his homework for him and I did as I was told, and many many more. You could say I was really stupid back then. I couldn't do anything right. I couldn't make up my own mind. I couldn't do things normal kids can do. I've always felt abnormal, strange and different. In a good way, let's say I'm innocent or naive, but most people think otherwise. Thinking back, I don't know why I acted that way before. I remembered my first day in grade school, I was wearing a fading green school skirt, and a white blouse that are already growing yellow over the years that my mom's friend's daughter wore that uniform. Open my bag and I find an old set of school books for the new school year. While everyone flashed their colorful, shiny textbooks, my heart sank as I hid behind my tattered school books with yellow pages. Perhaps that was how I started to act strange. I was never accepted, I was always the laughing stock of our class. I alone keep myself company all the time. I was never confident with myself, not even my high grades could help me with that, because people start calling me a nerd.

I never really remembered how I overcame that state. But I'm proud to say that I'm still alive right now, haven't thought of committing suicide like other emo people in my 17 years of life. I can't say people really accept me now, who knows, they must have learned not to criticize me in front of my face, but I guess I don't really care anymore. Well, I've gotten used to it, and there was nothing I could do anyway, so why try right? Call me a geek, call me a nerd, call me Honey the Strange or whatever you want, I'm still Honey Lynne Tan Sy, and for once, I'm sure I'm living my life the way I wanted. And no one's gonna make me think twice about that, not in a million years.

Christmas vacation journal Part.2

Day.7 12.27
We attended yet another party. My godparents came from Singapore and so my parents and their friends arranged a reunion just for them. There were lots of food, and chocolates from Singapore. I drank some Bailey and got sickening red right after. Two of my cousins tagged along too and they enjoyed performing in front of the grown-ups, and get gifts and kisses after of course. Then when the grown-ups got tired of them, I taught them how to be camwhorers! hehe... yep, we took lotsa pictures. We got home 2 in the morning. Whoah ain't that EARLY?!

Day.8 12.28
Well, my "date" with Sharm didn't push through; it was too last-minute I guess. So I got back to working since my uncle needed more hands since its December and I didn't have anything to do. We ended at around 12 mn and so I went back to bed right after. Oh did I say right after? Yah, I meant right after I worked, got online, chatted with friends, learned from Sharm that she can't make it again tomorrow, listened to music, watched some TV, ate some junk food and took a bath. XP I ended up sleeping at around 2:30 in the morning. WHEW!

Day. 9 12.29
So, I learned I couldn't make it to Mika's birthday either. And Sir Yol's words were really tugging at my ear. I finally persuaded my mom to accompany me to the nearest mall, which is SM of course, to watch a film-fest movie, since she didn't want me to go alone. We watched "Matakot Ka Sa Karma" which is not really "nakakatakot" at all, but it was nice. XP Then, we went late-Christmas shopping for gifts for my cousins. When we got home, I proceeded to working at once, completely forgetting about my empty stomach till around 10 pm. Before we hit the bunks, mom and I watched another movie DVD "Open Water". It was so boring, DON'T watch it!!!

Day.10 12.30

Wow! It's been some time since I've played Domino, not to mention the kiddie version of Domino, you know, the ones where all you have to do was match the faces of... well for this instance, Winnie the Pooh and his gang. Yep, I sure got tired of playing that, under the persistence of my cousin. Then in the afternoon we watched "Herbie Fully Loaded". Haha... it's silly but I kinda wished I had a car like that! Then another movie before bed. "Flight 93", almost killed me. Ack!

Day.11 12.31
New Year's Eve! After our usual Sunday family rituals, then another round of Domino, and lotsa lotsa food, we're all set for the fireworks. Well, I got hit by fireworks, AGAIN. Last year I got hit at my ankle, then I discovered (well, at least I thought I did) that I had better leg coordination that year. This year, I got hit on the forehead, does that mean I grow taller?! haha... Happy New Year everyone!

Day.12 1.1.07!
Happe Happe Nu Yer! haha... got kinda drunk from last night. *Hey! that was just two gulps of red wine!* We attended another party (haha... I think I'm starting to become a frequent party-goer) this time at my godfather's house. It was a despedida party for my godparents' who are leaving for Singapore tomorrow. How I wish I could go with them! *Hmm... the luggage looks big. Ack! When did I become this fat?!* I watched my godfather's sons playing PS2, made me want a PSP really badly.... It was a fun fun day overall, made lots of friends too! Slept at 2:30 pm. (Hmm.. improvement.)

Brainy Kid

In high school, you were acing AP classes or hanging out in the computer lab. You may have been a bit of a geek back then, but now you're a total success!

Who Were You In High School?

---> Waw! Is this true?!

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds. You believe that people see you as larger than life and important. While this is true, they also think you're a bit full of yourself. Your near future is in a very different place (both physically and mentally) from where you are right now. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

Some thoughts I'd like to share... again, I found these in my old grade school notebooks. XP

* A man of words and not of deeds is a garden full of weeds.
* The integrity of men is to be measured by their conduct, not by their profession.
* The glory of living is not in every fall, but in how you fall and rise again.
* To know that you know what you know and that you do not know what you do not know: that is true knowledge.
* You cannot expect a person to see eye to eye with you when you are looking down on him.
* What others say of me matters little. What I myself say and do matters much.

I was going over my highschool projects and I found this. Wow, I wonder how my mind was working then... hehe... hope you guys like it!

My ABCs
A - accepts failure with an open mind
B - a bookworm; I love to read books
C - creative; that's why I love to draw
D - determined in everything I do
E - energetic everyday, ready for the challenges in store for me
F - funny and likes to tickle others' funny bones
G - gentle both in mind and heart
H - helpful to the max
I - idealistic person with goals in life
J - jolly personality equipped with lots of jokes
K - kind-hearted person
L - loyal to my friends
M - mythology is my favorite
N - numerous friends around me
O - outdoor person; likes sports, shopping and vacations
P - patient to all those who need my help
Q - quick-thinking person who reacts quickly in situations
R - reliable to my family and friends
S - sensitive and sheds tears easily
T - thoughtful to everyone
U - understanding in situations
V- vigilant and aware of my surroundings
W - a workaholic; there's never a boring day for me
X - eXtraordinary in every way I can
Y - youthful and filled with vigor
Z - possess zeal as I accomplish my dreams!

Christmas Vacation journals...

Day.1 - 12.21
First day of vacation, I've decided to really enjoy myself. I spent the whole day watching videos from YouTube. Sadly, I still haven't finished Magician's of Love. But heck, YouTube will never vanish from me, so if I don't finish it this break, there's still summer vacation, and next school year's sembreak. Good luck to me!

Day.2 - 12.22
I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm actually programming! I finished Eksaitobaiku, and I got tired of finishing Speed Tic-Tac-Toe. (Why isn't it working?!) Right now, I still have to prepare for a party I'm hosting for my Pa's friends. Work... work... work...

Day.3 - 12.23
I went shopping with my Godparents today. We went to Shangrila mall to buy the raffle prizes needed for the party. It was really fun. There are so many toys, yet they are all so expensive. It's great to be a kid again, but it's greater to be rich. hehe... Then we ate at Green Tomato afterwards. The pasta was great and so is the pizza. I've always like thin crust pizzas, that is why I prefer Yellow Cab over Pizza Hut. When I got home we went to visit family friends to deliver their Christmas gifts. It was really tiring.

Day.4 - 12.24
It's Tin's birthday! We took our lunch at Pancake House then we went home to prepare for the party that night. Mom prepared fried chicken and spaghetti: all Tin's favorites. My cousins also brought along with them their PS2. Yey! I competed with my other cousins in Nitro Kart racing and Chicken Little mini kart racing. haha... It's definitely great to be a kid again!

Day.5 - 12.25
Christmas Day! As usual, we set off really early today to visit my parents' godparents. From Binondo to Zapote and from Zapote back, it was a really tiring but exciting road trip. Yes, it was quite boring for a Christmas Day, but at least I spent it with my parents, and my big family.

Day.6 - 12.26
Today is the day of the party I am to host. All the kids enjoyed I guess, even though just a few of them participated in the games. But they definitely enjoyed the raffle. I enjoyed watching the kids play around and have fun. And of course, I like the one and only prize I got from the party: a Clue boardgame! Yah!

Christmas break has officially begun! To start with, here are some things I plan to do over the break:

1. Gimicking
1.1. with Powder and Tidibur <--- this one will be merged, we're basically one big happy family anyway!
1.2. with Stace and Sharm ( and Bents probably?! ) <--- I miss my Chinese gang!
1.3. Block N <--- let's go skating at MOA!
1.4. with my cuzzin and my mom <--- 168 haggling is the best!
1.5. starbatch batch party <--- definitely hope this pushes through. Leslie.... :P

2. You Tube-ing teleseries
2.1. Magicians of Love <--- I'm in episode 5!
2.2. Bleach <--- Where did I stop??!!
2.3. A Game of Love <--- Haven't even started this one.... *slamsfaceontable*
2.4. Grey's Anatomy?! <--- Wanna check this out... go with the flow you know... hehe...

3. Weffriddle-ing <--- Batch 4 here i come!

4. Eclipse-ing <--- As much as I want to avoid this, I can't. Team 8 we gotta practice!

5. Write AT LEAST one chapter for ABOL. <--- I failed doing this last sembreak.

6. Finish my song and hopefully write a new one. <--- anyone good with notes? | anyone knows where to find note-converter software? | 143 club we're gonna record soon, I hope.

At ano pa ang hinahangad ko, kundi ang pag-ibig mo?
Kung sakaling panaginip lang ito, at ang pag-asa ay huwad at pakitang-tao lamang,
Nawa'y patayin na ako ngayon, nang di matikman ang asim ng buhay kong ito.

I'm feeling senti again. The topic of conversation shouldn't make me feel such pain. Of course, it was about me again, and this one is a happy me, a happy Honey. How did it turn out bad? When things go slightly wrong and I started to feel the same emptiness feeling my heart. How did that all happen? I have not the slightest idea. All I can say is that now I'm, alone, empty, wallowing in self-pity, and wishing that I never have to spend another birthday ever. You out there! You who might be reading this and understood what has happened, don't think that this is all your fault. I know I was wrong to blame you, but I couldn't blame myself. Think that I'm being really, really selfish. If I start blaming myself, I will feel even more miserable. Curse myself for thinking too much, curse myself for being unlike the others, curse myself for being weird, curse myself for being... being... ME. Why should I be me? Can't I be someone else? Curse myself for trying to fit in. Curse myself for trying to stand out. Face it, you won't fit in. You won't stand out. You're a needle thrown into the ocean: useless, neglected and helpless.

See me happy now, and never see me sad. Hear me laugh now and never hear me weep. Well see that ugly face and hear that silent moan, that's me... me, just me. Just Sugar Sparrow. Just Honey. Just Honey Sy. And no one else. Cause no one can be as miserable as she is. No one. No one at all.

I had a great weekend last week. On Friday, I went ice skating with my blockmates. Though my legs still hurt after swimming 18 laps the day before, they got worse after skating. But who cares right? On Saturday morning, I was really busy with Blue Christmas. The little kid Joshua was so cute and so sweet. :p Then after that I went shopping with Mom and cous. I FINALLY met Bents, and he's taller than me sadly. But heck? Who cares right? Saturday night, I attended Jatu's debut, which was held at faraway Malabon. I not only attended it, I hosted it, and I prepared our batch's surprise presentation for Jeatte. Well, the efforts were worth it definitely because I was sure Jeatte was really happy. On Sunday, we celebrated Pat's birthday at Circles. Salmon and chocolates, we meet again my all time favorites! Then that night I attended Hanna's birthday celebration, and went on camwhoring with my girls. The weekend was definitely tiring and so rest-less. But it was fun, full of adventure, I wish I could spend more weekdays like that!

If I ever get the chance to become a genius, I'm going to be a Mozart-genius.

Today, I was able to finish 18 laps in 20 minutes. That's gives me a B+ which I think is not bad at all, considering that I got cramps just by the first lap.

I wasn't in much luck today. I almost lost my ID.Only to find out that I kept it in my other bag. But it got me really worried that instead of riding the LRT, I went back to the tricycle stop just to check if I dropped my ID. Anyway, I'll just take it as exercise.

The greatest problem in my life, is that I can't stop myself from mixing reality and fantasy. Yes. I fantasize a lot, and by that I really mean A LOT! I believe there's nothing wrong with dreaming. Dreaming, in fact, sort of inspires me to work harder so as to be able to achieve my seemingly impossible dreams. But yeah, dreams and fantasies have bad effects on me too because sometimes my imagination gets too carried away. Take Ehlo Huang for instance. Yes. I love him, though I know it will take a miracle to bring the two of us together. Somehow, this Ehlo Huang craze has brought me to think about my future. Now, what bothers me isn't how I can meet Ehlo, but what I should start doing now so that I can do what I want. Yes I like programming, so I take up Computer Science. But now I come to realize, that there are a lot of other things that I really like. I like music; I want to be a singer, a composer, a music artist even. I like drawing; I want to be a cartoonist. I want to work at Walt Disney Studios. Yep. There's nothing wrong with dreaming, but it's frustrating to know that all you're dreaming of could be reality, and could be a mere fantasy as well.




I love Ehlo Huang.


Oops. Did I just say that?


But seriously, this IS a serious post.

The Ninja strikes again!

My little cousin is two years old. He's thin, very active, really naughty but not a troublemaker, so I call him my little Ninja. Well I'm going to tell you a story about this hyperactive little Ninja, and how curiosity *almost* killed him... twice.

Last October, it was my sembreak so naturally, I wake up late in the mornings. One fair morning I woke up startled by a crunching sound. My eyes quickly darted towards the standing electric fan beside my bed, because I was afraid some of its nuts and bolts went haywire. Instead, the electric fan was okay, but I saw little Ninja standing right beside it. I called him and he looked at me with his huge eyes and looked at the electric fan. "What happened?" I asked him. He was speechless for the first time and extended his index finger at me. Then I saw blood dripping from his finger and on to the floor, and I knew right there and then what had happened. Good thing the wound wasn't to deep, and little Ninja learned his lesson, that no matter what he does for his Ninja training, better leave the electric fan alone, cause it bites back.

This afternoon, we had lunch at a Chinese restaurant because the kids were craving for dimsum. Little Ninja sat with mommy, while his sister and I sat to his right. We were all enjoying our delicious bowl of Asado noodles when we both heard him calling for my mom. Mom thought he was asking for more noodles so she asked him to wait. But he kept calling her, so I asked him what he wanted. He looked at me and his face was the most bizarre one I've ever seen. His brows were crunched up and a single tooth showed. The moment he turned to me, he burst into wails! Mom started scolding him for his impatience, while his sister started coaxing him. I, on the other hand, jumped up to his side and peered into his mouth. I thought he had eaten something terrible but there was no food in his mouth. Little Ninja wouldn't stop crying. Then I noticed that he wasn't moving his arms, just kicking his legs furiously. Well guess what? His right arm got stuck to the chair. He must have naughtily inserted his arm into one of those narrow gaps of the chair. I tried hard not to laugh, seeing his state, but I guess he asked for it. Anyway, all the waiters and waitresses ran to him and started giving out crazy ideas on how to pop his hand out. One suggested to use oil as lubricant. Well it was a good one although while he ran off to get some oil, the other waiter couldn't wait long enough and suggested to use the chili oil instead. My grandmother protested at once, and we seconded the motion. Finally, someone thought of a more decent one and went to get some liquid soap. So little Ninja's arm finally broke free, though it's still red at the part where it got squished until now. New lesson, there are better gaps to hide in, just not gaps in chairs where even your arm can't fit in.

It's definitely not my first time to see such stuff, but what I saw today was the most horrible thing I saw. I've seen a dead cat, a dead frog, lots of dead roaches, err what else? Anyway, this one I'm gonna talk about is totally gruesome. Just this morning as I was walking to school with Nikka, I saw a big lump on the road just ahead of us. It was... bloody. There was a deep gash over the abdomen, with dried blood smeared all over it. Here comes the worst part, I THINK it was a rat, but I can't be so sure. You know why? Cause, the body had no head. Yep. It is beheaded. It was so disgusting! Good thing I didn't eat a heavy breakfast or else I'm sure the food's gonna come out the moment I saw that dead body. Yuck!


There was a mass today from 9-10:30 so classes during that time were cancelled. But we weren't affected because that was really our free period. So the block and Nikka and Ken hang out at Matteo Ricci to study for our Math Long Test. It was great bonding time, especially with Nikka and Ken. Well the LT was okay. Just hope the scores will turn out the same.


I love my PE! I love swimming! I love the water. I really should have been a pirate, or a mermaid, or a sailor, or a water nymph, or....

I'm proud of what I've been doing lately. Although I haven't quite accomplished half of it, but at least this time, I know I'm doing something I really like. This leads me to think (again) that I'm really living my life the wrong way. Why did I take computer science anyway, if I should have been in a better school to hone this hobby of mine? Sigh. I just hope I can be a jack of both trades, and hopefully, masters of both as well.

This morning, I arrived school early so I got to ride the trike. Saves up 50% of my daily energy. When the trike got to SEC, I waited patiently as the two other passengers paid up. Suddenly the driver nudged me.

Driver: Miss...
Moi: Sa Faura pa ako ah!
Driver: Yun nga...(irritated here) may barya ka ba? (showing me a 20 peso bill)
Moi: Ahhh... wala ho. Bente lang rin meron ko eh...
Driver: Hay naku...

After around five minutes, he was able to get some change for the two passengers. Wasting no time, he drove me to Faura. On the way, I was thinking to myself: "Shet... wala akong barya!" Luckily when I paid him 20 pesos, he was able to give me change for 7 pesos. Funny though, the first thing that popped into my mind when I kept my coins in my coin purse was: "Yey! May barya na ako! Oh happy day!" Yuck. What a great way to start the day... shallow.

OH MY GOD! Thank God we don't have classes today. Out of boredom, I scanned the TV stations of Taiwan and guess what I saw? Sam and Ehlo (my love) in a game show. OMG! Ehlo is so macho! He is so handsome! OMG OMG! I love him so much! I'm going gaga again!!! WAHHHHH!!!

I just realized last night that, not only am I addicted to tea and coffee, I'm actually addicted to alcoholic liquor too! hehe... Well, I guess I am a drinker. :)

The first time I drank red wine was at home on New Year's Eve. Well, I think it doesn't really count as red wine since it tasted like grape juice to me, just a bit more concentrated and bitter. But I liked it, although I was underaged then so, that's all I could have then.

The first time I drank beer was during a gathering with my parents' friends. My godmother, who is a good drinker herself, offered me a glass of San Miguel Beer. Well, I was reluctant at first, but since my parents' were smiling, I took the offer and drank the whole glass in one gulp. It tasted like apple juice. Anyway, the important part is... after around two minutes, I was turning into a red tomato, and I could feel myself emitting steam. Hohoho... it was hilarious! It took me an hour for my reddish color to diminish. It was the start of a new love I tell yah! hahahaha....

The second time I drank red wine was during Jewel's debut. I forgot who offered us the wine, but I think it was Jewel's brother. Well, the instant I had my first sip, my sensitivity towards alcohol attacked again. But anyway, I enjoyed every moment of it. I like its bitterness and how it leaves a different sensation once it flows in your insides. I went home slightly drunk that time. hihihi...

The first time I drank champagne was last night during Guenevierre's debut. I was enjoying a glass of fruit punch with Therese and Sherie when a waiter offered us champagne. I said "No" instinctively, but Therese and Sherie nodded, and the waiter gave each of us a glass of champagne. I stared at it for sometime, deciding whether to drink it or not. Sherie then said that we should enjoy every moment of maturity since we're all 18. I smiled and told them that I'm not 18 yet. They laughed and assured me that I'm in the company of "adults" so it's okay if I drink it. And so I did, and guess what? I became "hot" again! Yey! haha... It tasted like pineapple juice, just more alcoholic than the ordinary.

Over all, I liked champagne better. Anyway, by the end of the party, Nadia, Sherie, Kim (although reluctantly) and I joined the dance floor, they were all laughing at me saying that I was already drunk. I scowled at them. Not only when I got home did I realize that perhaps I am drunk, because even though I've regained my natural color, I was attacked by the vanity disease.

Perhaps the best thing in life is being able to choose the one you love, and perhaps the worst thing is not being able to choose the one who will love you back. Why is it that some people are fortunate enough to find someone whom they love and who loves them back, while others should be contented by finding either someone they love or someone who loves them? Why is it that we are not given the privilege to choose which person we want to be? Like what I've said before, there are so many questions in life, but sometimes, you will never know the answer. Reality hurts... so much.

Sparrow: Panu na to? Malungkot talaga ako! Sino naman makakatulong sa akin? Siya lang talaga, ngunit nasaan naman siya? Nasaan siya sa buhay ko?

Huwag kang iyak nang iyak, baka mamamatay ka sa dehydration.

When you're out there looking for that perfect person, keep these things in mind: people change no matter how hard they try not to. As you grow older, you mature and with each new level of maturity comes different ideas, different needs and different wants. The person who was perfect for you at 18 could be the person you hate at 25 or 30. You have to find someone who will grow with you, change with you, laugh with you and cry with you. A person who fills in where you lack. Remember that there's no such perfect person in this world, but there will always be someone who'll complete you.

So true don't you think? Well, true it may be, but there's one problem: Where is that person who's gonna complete you? Where? Who is he? When will you find him? When will you see him? So many questions, and yet the answer lies in your future, one future that you will only meet when the appropriate time comes, so there's only one solution: WAIT.

But how long will you wait? Will your long time wait be worth it after all? Is it guaranteed that you will certainly have what you've been waiting for? More questions... fewer answers. I guess I'll leave you at that. Leave a comment and tell me what you think. Maybe you can give me the answer I seek...

Day by day, I'm really getting more and more addicted to Ehlo Huang. Well, in a way he can serve as my inspiration, so that's a good thing I guess. I mean, it's not as if I spend the whole afternoon searching and uploading his pics in Multiply when I should have been studying. *Cousin shoots a death glare at me* Okay, maybe I am doing that... haha... but, hey, since I want to meet Ehlo so badly, I'm gonna study real hard so I can be a superstar someday. And that includes 1. eating three normal meals a day, 2. no snacks, 3. no sweets, 4. exercise!, 5. go to the gym, 6. exercise more, 7. eat fruits and vegetables instead of rice, 8. don't pig out on food, 9. avoid buffets, 10. avoid attending debuts with buffets, 11. learn belly dancing?!, 12. still, exercise! :P

As for school, still normal stuff happens. But once in a while, weird things happen to me too. Just a few days ago I posted about a funny experience at the bazaar, I forgot to share another experience that happened on that same day.

After my swimming PE class, I changed and dashed off at once to the guidance office for my semester-ly guidance interview. After an hour of nothing but chit-chat with really cool Ma'am Mia, I passed by Xavier Hall hoping to hitch a ride home with a tricycle without having to walk to the tricycle stop outside SEC. I wasn't really lucky that time cause I didn't catch any passing trikes. So as I walked the long, grassy way from Xavier Hall to trike stop, I avoided walking on the grass because of my sandals, but I also avoided the cars zooming past me. I was avoiding one particular Expedition that I stepped onto the grass and I yelped as I saw what was lying just beside my foot. It was a frog! Well, more like a dead and upside down frog. It was SOOO disgusting. I almost barffed. Good thing I already digested my lunch. Eeww...

As for yesterday, it was definitely a hottah-hottah day. If Tom Hanks had survived his outcast days and landed in our university, he would think it was summer. Anyway, good thing I have my favorite blue cap with me. Well, there goes cap girl on her way home. She rides a trike to escape the dreadful heat. And as the trike zooms across long Katipunan road, a sudden wind blew against my face, and guess what? My cap flew away! Gad! Curse the trike for having a hole at the back, I watched sullenly as my cap flew away from me and got crushed by the car right behind the trike I was in. Sob. It was my favorite cap.... *still emo-ing over my cap*

Theory No. 2
The Money Theory

Based on my personal experience, I can conclude that whoever said "Money isn't everything." obviously haven't experience the feeling of being rich. Besides that, whoever said that "Money doesn't make the world go round." either didn't have enough money to spend or he didn't know how to spend his money for leisure. And that's just so stoopid...!

I wanted to share something very funny that happened to me today.

This morning, during my break before Math class, Danna. Mika and I went to the Meccamall bazaar. There were lots of good and exotic stuff there so I highly invite everyone to go. :p Anyway, back to my story. I went into this booth and saw a display of "Unbreakable Headbands". I was curious, so I asked the shop keeper about it.

Shopkeeper: Eto Ma'am oh. Di siya napuputol. (bending the headband back and forth like it were made of rubber)
Honey: Oooohhh... Magkano?
Shopkeeer: 50 pesos lang ho. (still bending the headband back and forth)
*SNAP*
(Honey and shopkeeper looks down at a headband broken into two pieces)
Shopkeeper: Hala! Ate magkano ba to? (to herself) Naku babayaran ko pa to!
(Honey creeps away of the stall.)

There you have it. Poor girl. She scared away her customers and she still has to pay for the broken headband. Tsk tsk.

Cards of Fortune

Today I had my "fortune" read... again! It comes to show how superstitious I've become over the years. Well, it's definitely not the first time I believed in predictions from cards.

The first time I tried it, I was still a sophie. We were waiting at our somewhat private make-up room situated at the backstage of CCP. With nothing up our sleeves and idly waiting for our turn to perform, my batchmates who were also members of the orchestra shuffled the cards, and instead of playing the usual Pusoy Dos and Heart Attack, we played fortune telling, well at least, love life fortune that is. Remembering the names I said that time still gives me the laughs. Of course, they were mere crushes, but at that time, they were like the world to me. hehe... It was so stupid of me to give them such importance. I guess that time, I was persuading myself to like someone else to avoid "misunderstandings".

Anyway, the second time I had my fortune read, and yes, this time it is my life in general, was just this year, during a free cut in Lit. Of course, there's Monsieur John who is renowned for his, shall we say, prophetic skills. He was able to predict my past, present and future. Well, both my past and present were kinda accurate, so I reckoned the future prediction will be accurate as well. Suprisingly though, it wasn't that good. I would never forget those haunting words he said: "Either your husband, or your son will have a problem in his life." I was like: "WTF?" I've always dreamed of a happy family, a husband who loves me and cherishes me for who I am, and a son, who looks exactly like his father, to whom I will dedicate all the love and care I can give all my life. So that prediction came as a shock to me and no matter how hard I tried, I still can't manage to bring to the back of my mind. Damn for being too superstitious. Sometimes, when the predictions are bad, I just can't help myself and believe these bad things.

Well, after a few meditations and self-reflection over the sembreak, I finally placed all these love life stuff behind me. What's more important right now, is my own success, achieving my own dreams, so definitely, love can wait. Of course, don't be fooled, friends when I said I "divorced with my ex-husband and now has found a new one", my "husbands" are really artists. I'm just indulging myself with celebrity cuties to keep my mind away from reality boys. So, a while ago, when Rudolf was talking about cards and love life predicting, I curiously asked him to read my fortune. And when he asked the number of letters of my crush's name, I instinctively, and playfully said 4. Just a hint, that stands for E--O. Before you guys start guessing, it's not Elmo, and the guy I was pertaining to is a Taiwanese singer, well some of you might know him. Here comes the good part, when the predictions came out, me and the guy are actually CLOSE. And there's another man-obstacle, standing between us. (Hmm... now who could that be?) Anyway, suprisingly, I'm actually close with the "man of my dreams" and he's an artist. Haha... can't stop chucking everytime I think of that.

But, wait a minute, was it just a joke or a game, or is it really predicting what WILL happen to me in the future?

Here's another one, and it shows more Hong Kong and Korean artists... I think. Haha.. this is fun!

I remember Chicki saying that I looked like Angelina Jolie, guess she was right about that! Wahahahahaha...

Here are some thoughts I'd like to share about women... particularly mothers.
Actually, I just got them while skimming through my old emails.
I hope you guys like it the way I did!

~~Beauty of a Woman~~
The beauty of a woman is not the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the care that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With time, only grows...

~~The Images of Mother~~
4 YEARS OF AGE My mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE My mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE My mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE Naturally, mother doesn't know that, either!
16 YEARS OF AGE Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE Before we decide, let's get mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE Wonder what mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF AGE Wish I could talk it over with Mom...

I just realized how stupid my actions were for the past few days. First, I've been sulking on my life because of a teleseries, then I pollute my already polluted mind with yet another Taiwanese boy band, then I completely lose hope because of some stupid grade. Grr... I hate myself for being so weak. How could I have forgotten the promise I made to myself 6 years ago? To prove myself and to prove them wrong, that's what my life is about! Just like what John said: "Believing brings us a step closer our wildest dreams." Am I dreaming wildly? I hope not. Can I seriously reach ALL my dreams? I sure hope so. No matter what happens, I'll still keep on believing... I guess.

Today's the release of grades.
































No comment. Just leave me alone.

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..............183 Club!!!

Right now, 183 Club is love!!!! WOOOOOOOT!

The fairy tale is finally over. Well, though it was a happy ending, it wasn't really my idea of a fairy tale ending. Anyway, what's important was everyone found their true love in the end. Sigh. Makes me want to search for my own true love as well. I'm still in senti mode, so I don't have much to say. So, I guess I'll just share some quotes/messages I received that really hit my emotions now.

We used to think that life is a fairytale: full of magic, exciting, vivid! But that was a long time ago. Now, we know that there's more to life than just "happily ever after". We've learned that we get wiser each day, and no fairy can lead us to a happy ending. We decide, we struggle, and somehow we begin to understand that we have the power to make each day better than yesterday.

And to add to that, we will soon realize that other people's happy ending doesn't have to be your happy ending too. As they say, be original, act yourself, and you'll definitely find your own happy ending.

Wow! I think I'm finally convincing myself. hehe... Hope I succeed! Wish me luck!

What time is it?! Woohoo... I've been sleeping really late nowadays. Anyway, I've done QUITE some things today. I went to visit friends, borrowed some clothes. When I got home, I started reading Witch mag. Yah, I'm kind of old to read such stuff, but what the heck, I learn from them so... don't comment! hehe... Then it's time for Frog Prince again, I'm at the last four episodes already, but I got a new teleseries up my sleeve. Sharm will definitely find this boring, cause it's not the cheesy, romantic, love story she likes. It's... you know type Sharm so that will do. haha... well toodles then.

Hey, I just noticed not much people are visiting my blog. Boohoo...:( Do I have to start contests like what Meklot did? Anyway, I really haven't finished watching Frog Prince, but I think I'll soon file a divorce with JJ Lam, because now I'm falling in love with someone in 183 Club. Hehe... Although I was kidding about the divorce part, but I'm quite serious with the rest though. :P

Yes, yes I'm procrastinating again. A week of sembreak has passed and I haven't finished a single chapter. I certainly hope I could finish at least one after I finished watching Frog Prince. Lately, I've been busy searching and saving videos of 183 Club and 7 Flowers at You Tube. Wow, now I see the advantage of You Tube besides my No. 1 source of Bleach.

I've also been quite a nerd last week. Still no baked items because we haven't bought the necessary ingredients yet. So what was left to do was reading, sleeping, watching TV and Frog Prince, and surprisingly, studying! Sigh. I guess I am desperate...

It surprises me how a mere teleseries could make me think this much. Well, I know I'm a thinker. But I usually resume my thinking-self after I watched a really meaningful movie or read a really inspiring book. And yet, how can "The Frog Prince" become a meaningful and inspiring film? Yes, its definitely a comedy just by the looks of the design of the DVD: a cartoon frog wearing a little crown. The story is also a comedy: a girl coming from a poor family, whose ultimate goal is to marry a rich guy, and on she goes on her adventure to find the perfect rich guy for a husband. Still, this film made me think a lot. I thought that this story may seem like a comedy, but I could easily relate it with my own life.

Well, laugh if you must, but I always picture myself as a princess waiting for my prince. Probably because I watched too many Princesses' movies when I was a kid, that I started to believe that every girl has a prince meant for them, and that the princess will have to wait, until the day when her prince charming will come and sweep her off her feet and bring her to the wonderful palace, where they live happily ever after. Sigh. I used to believe that everything will end with happily ever after. It wasn't until I grew up, got my heart broken many times and got to college, till I realized that, WAIT! Reality check. Life ain't that perfect. A fairy tale princess may go through many hardships, but in the end, she would finally meet her prince. But a real life princess will go through all sorts of difficulties, and what does she get in the end? A frog, or perhaps, she'll just die an old maid.

I once received a text from a friend. It goes this way:
It's better for a princess to sleep a hundred years and be kissed and awaken by the right prince, than to stay awake and be kissed a hundred times by the wrong frog.

When I got this message I was like "WOW! That surely hit the spot." But just like what I said, real life isn't a fairy tale. Poor girls finding their rich princes only happen in movies. In real life, no way! Only rich girls get the good guys. 麻雀变凤凰是不可能的。“A maya bird can't turn into a phoenix." Once a poor girl, always a poor girl. Only way to become rich is counting on yourself, and not one your non-existent prince charming.

"I just found out there's no such thing as the real world, just a lie you got to rise above."

在最紧急关头，绝望将会变成希望。
"At the worst scenario of your predicament, your hopelessness would become your hope. "

I'm not really good at translating, and I know most of you can't understand Chinese, but I find this really inspiring. I got this line from a Taiwan teleseries. The protagonist told a story about a frog who was stuck in the desert. It kept digging into the earth to find a source of water. One day, when the last of its strength was about to fade away, it dug upon a huge rock. At the sight of it, the frog gave up and eventually died of thirst. What it didn't know, if it had only moved that big rock, water it had longed for so long would gush out of the earth.

Lesson of the story? When you're feeling hopeless, the more you should not give up. Instead, you should keep on working for your goal, and your feeling of hopelessness would turn into your source of hope.

Whoever said that money isn't everything simply didn't have enough money to spend for himself. And the rich man who said money doesn't make the world go round, simply didn't know how to spend his money on meaningful stuff. I'm not rich. I'm not poor either. But I lack the financial capability of availing the basic "wants" of a human being. Am I complaining or ranting about my life? Maybe yes maybe no. But if I were given the chance to choose, I want to be born rich. I would not want to suffer the liabilities I suffered right now.

idle day

First official day of sembreak. Well let's see what I did... I was supposed to start with Chapter 15, then I was supposed to read the first 100 pages of Angels and Demons, I was supposed to bake the first batch of brownies, I was supposed to watch the first 10 episodes of Frog Prince. But guess what? I slept the whole day. I woke up just to eat lunch and dinner, and to read around 30 pages from my book. Oh well, I have to attend a wedding tomorrow, then the school's procession in the afternoon, so I guess my next FRUITFUL sembreak day would be on Monday. hehe.. Wish me luck then!

First sem is finally over. Now I got plenty of time to spend this sembreak. What's so good in college, is that you get to spend a longer sembreak compared to highschool. The many things I plan to do this sembreak include sleeping, writing new chapters for my stories, download new songs and pics, play games, watching TV, watching DVD and of course cooking and baking for my cousins. It feels so great and relieving to know that I won't have to go to school for 3 weeks. Hooray! Oh well, till here then.

Mastermind is officially over. Now I be heading back to my ordinary student self. After Friday, I'm officially free. By then, I should have about more to say here. I'd also be updating my story. Phew... hope I'll be able to do that. Till here for now then.

~I still love him... weeee!

I think I'm in love again, but surprisingly, my new crush is actually the "bad-boy" type. Eeeck! I usually don't like "bad boys" but I don't know why I finally fell for one. Anyway, this is so not the time for crushes. Gotta stop thinking about him. *medidates ~ooooom.....~* Finals, finals, finals, finals, finals, finals, finals...

Who would you choose: the one you love or the person who loves you?

First of all, take note that this world is not a perfect world. Nothing is perfect, and so are we. Because we are not perfect, we cannot expect things to be perfect as well. Then what shall we do about this? I guess the only way is to be easily contented.

They say that in your life, you will meet three people: the one you love, the one who loves you, and the one you will spend your life with. Sadly, these three people are not the same person. What a sad but true reality. It comes to show that it's so hard to love someone. And after all the hardships you've gone through to love him, you still can't call him yours. Well what's the point of loving if that's the case, right?! Wrong. Just as I've said, nothing is perfect, life isn't perfect. You can love that person during your life time, but since life ain't perfect, that person won't love you back. When the person you love breaks your heart, stop, and think for a while. Didn't you just break the heart of the person who loves you?

Well of course, if you can't be with the one you love, and you don't want to be with the one who loves you, you would just have to be with the one you don't love and doesn't love you back for the rest of your life. Sad isn't it? Well you're asking for it!

Why do I say that? Because you're being a stupidly stubborn person. So what if the person you love doesn't love you back? Don't you feel fortunate that someone actually loves you? Love is easy to give and hard to receive as they say. So when someone loves you, why don't you try loving him back? Life ain't perfect, so if someone knocks at your heart's door, open it wide, invite him in. Who knows, perhaps once you fall in love with him, you'll find out that you're one of the few lucky ones in the world who could find the three persons in just one guy.

The one who loves me. Because it is he who cherishes me, it is he who cares for me, and it is he who knows how much I'm worth in this world, which even I cannot say myself.

Tomorrow's our finals in Filipino... EEEEEP!!! I am so dead, mashed, gonna screw up, what else? I am so d*** nervous! Then tomorrow's also our long test in math! Double EEEEP!!! Then next week is hell week: finals week!!! Triple EEEEEEEEP!!! I'm so gonna die. Wish me luck!!! Boohoo!

- A bad case of worms -

I went to school yesterday to attend a make-up class for Ma18. After class, I stayed behind to chat with Sher and EJ along the corridors of Sec A. And guess who we found in need of company? A small worm the size of a fingernail. I was the first one to find him, slowly and quietly wriggling beside us. Well, we were amazed and disgusted at the same time seeing how its body would arch up and down as it wriggled its way to who knows where. Too engrossed on it were we, that we look so stupid staring at it for around 10 minutes or so, not moving a single muscle. I wasn't sure who started the idea, but Sher was the one who found a way to fulfill it. After fumbling in her bag, she found a sheet of paper, with which, without warning, she sliced the worm in its middle. How dreadful it was to see both ends of the worm squirm as the paper ran between it. Sher got disgusted at once and released the paper which left the worm writhing in pain. Dreadful and pitiless that act was yet we didn't stop there. The worm, probably sensing the danger that lie ahead of him, took a U-turn. I took the upperhand and I blew at it. It tossed a little and landed on his legs in around a few millimeters away from where he originally was. Well for him that could be miles... Anyway, that got it dizzy for quite a while, and with no plan to seize action, the three of us started blowing at it. And a huff and a puff and we blew the worm off the edge of the seat and in to the jagged rocks of oblivion below. Before I left, EJ announced that he spotted the worm still wriggling over the rocks, but it didn't matter to me anymore if it were alive or not. I thought of what I did to the poor worm. I know I was mean to do that, but I considered it a kind of stress relief. Frankly, I'm feeling like the worm now, dizzy and with no place to go. But how I wish there really is someone up there blowing me around, because at least the time will come when he will get tired of fooling me around, and I can finally be in peace with myself, and get on with my life.

Why haven't I posted for so long?
1. I'm so not in the mood.
2. I'm in a really, really bad mood. Nothing I've done turned out right, and that fact is pissing me off.
3. Problems, problems, problems. Friends, school, and more.
4. Bad weather. I didn't have internet connection for two days.
5. I'm just... feeling really bad.