What I did yesterday when I got home early...
1. I took a bath.
2. I chatted with some people in YM.
3. I checked my mail.
4. I checked my blog, no one commented so far so I got a bit pissed off.
5. I checked my multiply site.
6. I read POTC fanfics to find some inspiration for my own story.
7. I downloaded Eclipse IDE, just as Kim told me.
8. I tried to start my Powerpoint presentation for my Futsal midterms.
9. I finished 20 chapters in just one sitting.
10. I could feel my eyeballs throbbing painfully.
11. I couldn't finish the Powerpoint because it kept shutting down.
12. I got tired of surfing the net because the download slowed down the connection.
13. I shut down the computer at exactly 12 MN, reading 5 more chapters of fanfic.
14. I slept at 12:30 MN.

Well, here I am getting all emotional over yet another movie. I just watched "Cinderella Story" by Hillary Duff and Chad Michael Murray (*love you Chad!*). Let's say, I can really reflect my life on this movie. Well, who wouldn't? Perhaps pretty and rich girls wouldn't, but girls like me would surely think that dreaming of your prince is simply a dream, and nothing more than that. Well, not everyone can be as lucky as Hillary Duff, meeting her prince over the web. And even though they went through a lot of things, well, they still ended up together didn't they? I thought, when will that happen to me? In five, ten, years I guess. Or perhaps, I'll never be that lucky at all. Not that I haven't loved at all, but like what the movie said, it's useless to wait for your prince, when he never thought of treating you as his princess. If that's the case for me, so why do I have to love? Why do I have to fall for someone, even though I know, in my right mind, that things will never work out for us at all? That he, in his right mind, wouldn't see me as a princess, but an ugly duckling? And that this ugly duckling will never become the beautiful swan she had dreamt of becoming. So, why is fate doing this to me? Can anyone tell me why?




*But I can't wait for him. Because waiting for you, is like waiting for rain in this drought: useless and disappointing."

It feels so good...
...to speak out something you've kept to yourself for two months.

It feels so good...
...to meet someone who you can entrust your problems to.

It feels so good..
...to eat hotdog again after a long time, with ketchup and mayonnaise.

It feels so good...
...to spend the day without worrying about any quiz or midterm.

It feels so good...

...to see a friend you haven't seen for almost a year.

It feels so good...
...to be relieved of a burden you've carried for so long.

It feels so good...
...to get up and let go of your love for someone, and continue living your life the way you wanted.

It feels so good...
...to know that you're simply feeling good.

No worries, no problems, no heartaches just heartbreaks, but who cares? I guess I'll get over it.


You disappointed me... but I'll continue to stand by you. You may have never loved me at all, I may have lost my love for you, but, you'll always be in my heart...

... forever. And know that I've always loved you...

Leave a comment at my tagboard if you want me to do this for you. 1. I'll respond with something random about you. 2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you. 3. I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in. 4. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me. 5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you. 6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of. 7. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you. 8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. Let's go people!!! haha...



What Meklot wrote for me... and my answers. :P
HONEY.:)
1. The girl who looooooves the Mikee billboard in Katipunan.:D Baaa-haa!!:) ---> If Meklot has Tatsi, I have Mikee... haha...
2. Pirates of the Carribean 2:) Hooohhooo!! Napanuod mo na?:D ---> NOooo... :(
3. Black and White SOCCER-ball-flavored JELLO!!:) Wahahahaha!!:) ---> Yum!!! haha...
4. Evil PE Blockmates. Teehee! ---> Creeeeeepy....!!!!
5. AJSS lang naman noh!:) Hehehehe. Basta, I remember during the last day when you guys were teaching Mark and I to shuffle backwards.:P ---> Tara! Pusoy na!!!
6. Animal? Sparrows. Bees. Funny, eh? ---> Bees and sparrows yahoo!
7. Who's the guy you like in the block? YIKEE!:) ---> Hmm... another issue? hehe...

So the day has arrived. Until now, I am still in shock with what I saw a while ago. I mean, yeah I know I was never good there but I don't really think I deserve it. Not that I flunk my quizzes on purpose. I try you know, I sweat, I bleed trying to get a high score everytime. And what do I get now? I tell you it's unbearable, unexpected and unbearable seeing that bloody mark on your paper and you don't know what you're supposed to do next. Should I be crying? What a sight that would be. But perhaps I will cry, when no one's looking. I've always acted that way, so why would it make any difference this time? Can anyone tell me what I'm going to do? No. No one can help me now... I've always been this helpless. It's not the first time I fall into such a problem. And what do I do? I forcibly swallow that lump and try to forget it. But scar remains. It always does. So why would it make any difference this time?

O-K

Much has happened over the weekend. Besides the fact that I get to see Mikee every school day (obssessed... hihi), school is pretty much O-K for me. We just had our third long test in Math, which is not one very O-K thing. But the O-K part of the day is the UAnP Swap. I was really expecting to see Hanna but well, I guess she's probably too busy to join it. Too bad! Well, I spent a really O-K bonding time with Aldwin, Greg, Daph, Je, Lilia, Fave and Ted. I always went a bit gaga over the balloon inflater or whatever they call it. The program was a success, congratulations to Je! This would definitely be a significant part of my life. Go Nametaggers!!!

O-K after all the O-K stuff, here's the bad parts. 1, I think I'm gonna fail Filipino. 2, I think I'm gonna flunk Filipino. 3, I think I'm getting an F in Filipino. Gad. Then next week is hell week. Two midterms in major subjects next week: CS and Math. So much for the O-K moments. Can't like simply be O-K everyday? for the rest of my life? Sigh.

I am inspired.



Why?



because...




Mikee is back!!! woohoo!!!


I was so happy this afternoon when I looked up and saw Mikee's Bench poster back where it was. Guess the typhoons are gone for good and they've decided Mikee can finally resume his place. hehe...

Anyway, futsal today was so... challenging. It's the first time I'm this hyped up after a soccer game ever since we formally started to our weekly games. Probably because today's game was the first time I played "forward" because usually I'm the last man. Well, let's say I really had lots of fun and glad that I didn't screw up.

The midterms are coming soon and boohoo I'm so nervous. Wish me luck!

*drumroll*We have INTACT tomorrow and wahhh.... the advisory marks are coming out. Yikes!!!

I'm missing my high school friends. So I'm dedicating this post to all those friends who have made a difference in me.


~ Joshua Aragon - The "little" brother who never fails to amuse me with his corny pick up lines.

~ Jeatte Go - We've been friends since Grade 6, but we really got close only last year. The only person who truly understands everything I feel.

~ Perryn Go - The most annoying but most worth-knowing seatmate in the entire high school history!

~ Jessica Gotamco - I miss the way she slaps me at my shoulder everytime she greets me.

~ Michelle Gotohio - My never-punctual friend. I miss how she always calls me a menopause baby.

~ Aaron Lim - My poetic and accident prone "ahia". I miss his songs and his limp right arm. *poke poke*

~ Xtian Lim - The most responsible and dependable friend I have. I miss the way she laughs at my corny jokes.

~ Dianne Ngan - My "little", childish sister. The basketball addict and the smart girl who never needs to study at all.

~ Frederick Osmena - I need my punching bag!!! And also my really loving and concerned "Ahia", not to mention his cooking.

~ Meng Hua Shen - Forever taskforce-mate. I miss her cute face when she is panicking.

~ Anly Siasin - My cute and cuddly friend. I miss Anly's daily warm greetings of "Good Morning!" and "Habeeeee!!!"

~ Michelle Sy - The best seatmate ever! The only person who can say my name in a really high pitch.

~ Erik Tan - My very sleep-ful friend. Though he spends most of the time sleeping, he's the funniest guy awake!

~ Hanna Tang - My forever best friend. I miss the way we hug each other and our sizes fit perfectly with each other.

~ Diana Ting - How she always has a weird addiction to teddy bears and everything that's violet. I miss her chinky eyes everytime she smiles.

~ Suzzane Uy - Who would forget the Powder babies' dashing and pretty mother? I miss how Straw always comforts me when I'm sad.

~ Rachel Yu - I miss how she calls me "Hunny" and our heart-to-heart chats that last for hours.

I really hate people who look down on others who are FINANCIALLY incapable. I mean, what's wrong if you're poor? What's wrong if you can't afford the leisures that other people can naturally attain? I hate those people who laugh at the poor: who couldn't afford to buy new clothes, who couldn't afford to have a proper haircut every two weeks like the other rich people do, who couldn't eat properly because a simple, non-variety meal is all that they can afford. Why should there be a difference between the rich and the poor in the first place? Can't everyone just keep the amount they have in their bank account to themselves and not compare it with other people? Those bossy, rich people are going too far! Makes me want to ask them: Is that your money you're using? Did you earn it? Is it unlimited? Do you know that some rich people die a poor man because they used up all their money on senseless things? Do you know that someday, you'll be like them as well?


You can tell I'm really infuriated.

And if I hate rich and arrogant people, then I hate people who refuse to believe you're poor and force you to become what you're not even more. To make myself clear, it's because of these people, who act disbelieving when you're excusing yourself from something because you can't afford it, and the others who insist that you are rich, even though you told them a GAZILLION times that the good things you have in life are merely gifts to you. If there's one thing I hate doing, that's becoming something I'm not. And these people somehow force you into doing things you don't want to do at all. How? That is what our elders mean by peer pressure.

So don't let other people take control of your life. Remember: "Why do you try so hard to fit in, when you're born to stand out?" You don't have to please other people. Just be able to please yourself and I tell you, you're definitely living a meaningful life.

"When someone appreciates you the way you are, it touches something inside your heart, and you find yourself falling for that someone, falling deeply in love."

It's a blessing to have many friends, but it's a better blessing to have friends who are willing to help you in your problems even though they have problems themselves. I'm lucky to have both blessings. If it hadn't been for a good friend of mine, I wouldn't have realized the reason why I've been so emotional for the past two weeks. How profound of him to say it, hehe, but it's really enlightening.


Then I started thinking, putting that Auction House of a program aside, is that the real reason why I fell for him? Is it right of me to fall for him? Is he showing the same affection towards me? Or am I just hanging on to a series of false hopes? I couldn't think properly. So I played my music, guess what was the first song?

~ What can I do to make you love me What can I do to make you care What can I say to make you feel this What can I do to get you there ~

Sigh. Is fate really on my side? Or is it annoying me again?!

Wednesday, August 2.

Kimmie's bday! We also had our first GA for CompSat, and as a member of the Secretariat, I had to be at the venue 30 mins before the time to prepare for the registration. It was really fun though, I may not have joined any of the GDs, but I was able to bond with many people, including the CompSat officers.

Thursday, August 3.

What a day! Free cut for Filipino and PE. I only went to school for Math class, then I returned home right after since I still had around 5 hours before the "Anarkista" play. I planned to do some homework before I go back to school. UNFORTUNATELY, I fell asleep and woke up in time to panic that I haven't done ANYTHING yet. I hurriedly edited my last draft for my feature article, took a bath and zoomed back to school. (Of course, I didn't really ZOOM to school, it's a figure of speech that my trip back to school was really rush-rush.) The play was worth it anyway. We finished at around 9:30 pm and by the time I got home I was too tired to study for anything anymore. Boohoo!!!

Friday, August 4.

Ahia's birthday! Yehey! It was also our first hands-on exam in CS. Luckily, I think I did well during the test. What's more, we had a free cut for English! Yebah! Feature article moved to Monday. In the afternoon, I joined Celadon's GA. It was pretty much okay. There were many performances. But it was more like a Judenites' reunion for me. Anyway, we celebrated Ahia's birthday at home. Fried noodles and roast chicken, sigh, never had such a good meal for so long.

You don't want to say you're in love. You don't want to fall for the wrong person again. But why is it that everytime you see him, this heart of yours can't hold back the emotions you feel inside? Stupid mind, stupid heart, stupid emotions. You want to tell the boy to just say what he feels, say what he thinks, and not to use his little tricks to deceive you. Because you've had enough of that, enough of those little tricks all the other boys played on you. You're not going to fall for someone who's too good to be true. Why believe that there are people out there who lives by the song: "What makes you different, makes you beautiful?" This world is all about looks, girl. Wake up from your deep slumber, be practical, there won't be any sane boy who would walk up and tell you he loves you. Cause it's simply too good to be true...